This just in!
• The full Mueller report just got released and it became clear that Barr overlooked the part where Trump was clearly involved in collusion. Impeachment proceedings are beginning.
• Brett Kavanaugh showed up drunk at a Supreme Court session and will be dismissed.
• Wall Street tycoons held a secret meeting and decided to voluntarily pay their fair share of taxes and create strict regulations.
• The Pentagon gave over 40% of its budget to Education.
• Water in plastic bottles is banned worldwide.
• All voters will be required to pass a test about civil rights promised by the Constitution and amended in future bills before being allowed to vote. Election Day will be a national holiday, but only those who vote can take the day off. The Electoral College will be abolished.
• Sponsored by the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra, Doug Goodkin & the Pentatonics will go on a National Tour bringing jazz to children of all ages.
Happy April 1st!