Monday, April 1, 2013

April Vows


It’s the turn of the month and a good time to make some short-term vows. For the month of April, I resolve to:

• Stop being upset about the California bill that slashed Medical so that folks like my Mom can no longer stay at the Jewish Home for the Aged and this glorious, needed and well-staffed program will be laying off its workers left and right and only accepting short-term rehab people with lots of money to pay for it. I’m sure the State Legislature had very good reasons to abandon our elders— like keeping up with the budget for prisons.

• Stop worrying that the Memphis School District in Tennessee, for over thirty years a shining model of commitment to music education in the public schools (with a particular emphasis on the Orff approach), has decided that enough is enough and is beginning their slash and burn cuts of such programs. It’s clear that we all can get along just fine without music and that money will be much better spent paying politicians and upgrading computers every 7 seconds.

• Stop wasting my time advocating for music education when it’s clear no one really cares. Instead, I think I’ll shift priorities and become a spokesperson for more sex and violence in media, getting more people to watch the Super Bowl and advocating for toddler-friendly computers.

• Stop wasting my time working on the piano when it’s clear that I’m not going to go on a World Tour playing duets with Keith Jarrett. Instead, I’ll finally take that class on something easier to master, like managing my Retirement funds, using an i-Phone or brain surgery.

• Stop writing this blog. David Sedaris or Dave Barry I’m not, so why bother? Unless I can get a job as a columnist for newspapers that barely exist anymore.

All this and more I vow.

(Pause)

NOT! April Fool’s Day!!!

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