Sunday, August 25, 2013

Message to Motorists


Today I whisked over to Japantown to stock up on fried tofu and dashi no-moto. Even though it was Sunday afternoon, it was also San Francisco and parking was ridiculous. But there was a man putting groceries in his trunk across the street from the store and I gleefully pulled behind him as he got into his car to drive away. To him and the hundreds like him (who always seem to be the drivers about to pull out while I’m waiting), I have something to say.

“Dear fellow motorists,

I implore you to consider following my lead in pulliing out of a parking spot. Here’s how I do it.

  1. With keys in hand, I open the car door, sit down and fasten my seat belt.
  2. I put the keys in the ignition, start the car, check for traffic and drive away.
  3. This operation takes about 15 seconds total.

Here what I do not do:

  1. Sit in the car for ten minutes    
•  adjusting my seat belt 
• looking in the glove compartment for God knows what.
• digging in my purse or backback for the cousin of God knows what
• beginning the difficult conversation with your fellow passenger you've been meaning to have
• putting on lipstick and touching up my eyeshadow and then re-adjusting the mirrors
• writing the next scene in my screen play

  1. Ignore the car parked behind me waiting for me to leave
  2. You get the idea. Just put the keys in the dang ignition and drive off!!!!

And while I’m at it, yes, go out into the intesection while preparing to turn left so at least a car or two behind you has a sporting chance of making the light.

And stop talking on your phone!

Other than that, have a nice day!”

A message from your fellow motorist.

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