It’s
four days until my 66th birthday and I’ve never been happier. I’m no
stranger to the ravages of time—the wattled neck, the swelling belly, the hair
long gone, the backwards counting from some statistical life expectancy and so
on. But never have I been more grateful for the gifts of time. Gifts only made
possible by the blessing of long life and a determination to not waste a second
of our precious time. Why don’t more people talk about this? Why do we spend so
much time idolizing the follies of Youth?
In
my 2nd day of my 4th Jazz Course and that lifetime-ago intuition
that I could set a room on fire with happy people playing, singing and dancing
has reached a maturity that only years—and ongoing attention to disciplined
practice—can reap. I sit on my meditation cushion imagining the day to come and
the 30 different ways I can release laughter, joy, deep thought and tender
feeling, picking and choosing which combination the day suggests. I think ahead
to the week and what I might do with a demonstration class of 4-year olds and
what songs we will sing later that day with the 94 year olds. I plan which
pieces my band will play in our concert for the kids and teachers and what new
ways we might involve the audience. And having taught three jazz courses in
other places—each one as delightful as a 6-year-old’s Christmas morning—I am
just so damn happy to not only get the chance to do it again, but to do it in my own music room, my home for 42
years, with the instruments I’ve so carefully and lovingly collected and with
the sound I’m used to and find so satisfying.
I
walked into school with a slight sensation that “Hey, it’s still summer! Too
early to be here!”
But
that soon changed to the feeling, “I don’t know how I’m ever going to leave
this place.” The preschool kids greeted me with “Dougie!”, the grand piano in
the music room never sounded better, the pleasure of sharing this remarkable
piece of paradise with some 50 teachers come to study Orff Schulwerk in three
different classes continued to feel so satisfying. All the surrounding voices keep whispering “When are you
going to retire?” and I keep answering, “Show me something better than this and
I’ll consider it.”
Off
to Day Two.
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