Phonaholics Anonymous

I spend a fair amount of time warning others about the perils of phone addiction— especially for children. But it’s time for a confession— they got me! Between text messages, WhatsApp, Facebook notifications, e-mails, weather, miles walked, bank statements, calendar, hearing aid adjustments, Audible books and —what was that other thing?— oh yeah, phone calls! —there is so much to check in on in my little device and I’m spending way too much time checking. The very purpose of having so many handy things gathered on one little device is at once its pleasure and its danger. I take a little pride in being a touch less dependent than friends who are constantly searching maps and restaurant choices when traveling— I’ve held fast to the pleasure of just wandering about and seeing what comes up. I don’t play games on my phone or God forbid, check in on the news. But at the end of the day, I have to admit— I’m addicted. 

 

So it’s time to initiate my own 12-step program, starting with:

 

“Hi, my name is Doug and I’m a phonaholic.”

 

Here’s my program, starting today:

1.    When there’s a moment free — waiting for a bus or a meal to arrive or sitting on the bus or walking from here to there, leave the damn device in your pocket. Attend to what’s happening around you, even if it’s mostly other people looking at their phones. 

 

2.    In the above case, imagine what they’re looking at. Write a poem or short story about it.

 

3.    When walking, resist listening to your Audible story the whole time. If tempted, choose at least half of the walk story-free. 

 

4.    Remember your project of memorizing and reciting a poem while walking. Aim for a poem-per-walk. 

 

5.    In all so-called dead time, let your mind roam free and notice what comes up. Often it will be some project my sub-conscious is working on— a class plan, a Blogpost or next sentence in a book I’m writing, an idea about a future plan. Remember that the subconscious cannot do its work when Audible is talking or you’re looking at Facebook comic sketches. 

 

6.    When the phone dings in my pocket, sing a song starting on the note dinged (I think it’s C). 

 

7.    Use the device to take photos as if you’re a tourist in your town or you’re entering the photography contest. 

 

8.    If you run into an alum student you taught who you haven’t seen in years, selfies are permitted. 

 

9.    If you’re sitting under a tree and you feel the irresistible urge to get out your device, look at your contact list and call someone you haven’t talked to in over a year just to say hi. 

 

10.                  Stop taking the phone into the bathroom with you.

 

11.                  Limit yourself to two or three set times to check in on what seems important to check in on. Weather, text messages that need answering, etc. Maybe after breakfast, after lunch and before dinner. All other times when you find your hand wandering to your phone pocket, do some body percussion instead. 

 

12.                  Institute a weekly Sabbath. One whole day when you leave it somewhere and never touch it.

 

I’ll let you know how it goes. Anyone want to join me?