I last left my readers on
the edge of a tantalizing summer day in Istanbul and last night, was all set to
fill in the details with my “Turkish Delights” entry. But the wireless in my
hotel would have none of it. What’s that William Carlos Williams poem? “So much
depends upon a red wheel barrow, glazed with rain water, besides the white
chickens.”
Williams, was speaking of
course metaphorically, but my modern day version is all too-painfully real. “So
much depends on a little green Skype blob next to the four-line black fan on my
white computer with a blue screen.” And that green blob and black fan just kep
disappearing over and over again last night at their whim, along with the blue
line that would get stuck as it started its journey from left to right. I
fought it, cursing and screaming for some thirty minutes, with increasing
despair as my usual Restart strategies failed and finally gave up.
Next morning, dressed for
battle again, tried my room, the rooftop and the lobby, only to be thrown to
the ground. But now I was getting desparate to hear an answer from my host in
Estonia, my next stop. So ten minutes before teaching my one-day course, I went
to Internet Explorer in someone’s office, signed on to AOL and was on my way to
satisfaction when AOL informed me my password was wrong. WHAT?!! Over and over
and over again. So I clicked “Forgot your password?” and something came up that
said the equivalent of “Sorry. We can’t help you.” And that’s how I began
teaching today.
Luckily, hours of slapping
my body and holding hands and dancing and beating xylophone bars with mallets
washed it all away, but I knew it awaited me again at the end. Back to the
office—same old “you’re out of luck, bud.” To my host’s house on her laptop.
The equivalent of “Don’t you get it? It ain’t happenin’!” Last chance—my
computer back at the hotel.
Can you feel my anxiety
and frustration mounting? Do you care? Actually, I hope not—this is perhaps the
most boring travel story ever written! But since writing is catharsis, I need
to do it. Anyway, I’m pretty resourceful and usually can imagine Plans B, C, D,
E and so on to the middle of the alphabet, but I just had to admit that I was
running out of options and simply didn’t know what to do. Besides the necessary
Estonia information, all the other worry synapses in the brain were lighting
up—identity theft? Two days of lost e-mails? All of my e-mails gone? My blog
readers turning away from me in disappointment? My secret love affair with
Hanna Montana brought to light? (Hey, I’m trying to keep your interest here.)
So it was with fear and
trembling that I entered my room. I ritually washed my hands, played a game of
Soiltaire to see which way the luck flag was flying (I won—good sign), laid my
hands on the computer and chanted the Dharania to Remove Disaster. I think I
can safely say Buddha didn’t have this situation in mind when he inspired this
chant, but as you perhaps have guess—it workd! All four black lines on the fan
and the welcome sight of the green Skype blog!! Never has that stupid AOL voice
sounds so musical to my ears—Welcome! You’ve got mail!” And not only did I make
the Estonia connection, but one daughter had written a sweet Father’s Day note and
the other called on Skype as I finished reading the first one’s e-mail. Life
was good again.
So though I’ll probably
finish writing about Turkey in Estonia and it will already feel like
yesterday’s news, just wanted to get this off my chest. There. And now (well,
soon), back to our regularly scheduled program.
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