Worst City in the World

I’m talking about San Francisco. This morning I gave the real picture the postcards don’t show—bone-chilling fog in May! But there’s more bad news.

Tonight I’d thought I’d go the Venetian Room in the fancy Fairmount Hotel to see an alum student make his cabaret debut. It was a 5:00 show, it was Sunday afternoon, I found out the time too late for the bus and there are only three taxicabs in all of San Francisco, so I thought, “Hey. Parking on a Sunday night? Shouldn’t be too hard.” An hour and circling an ever-expanding radius of blocks proved me wrong. Of course, two different times I spotted a place and so did the car in front of me.

This afternoon I did better, biking to the Civic Center to see a free Community Orchestra concert. Yeah, now we’re talkin’! San Francisco rocks! Amongst other things, they performed Peter and the Wolf and our local treasure, Supervisor Tom Ammiano narrated the tale. Before he began, he said, “A friend of mine from Oklahoma decided to come out of the closet and move to San Francisco. Now he’s living in a closet. For $3000 a month.”

So people, pay attention. Terrible weather, skyrocket rents, no parking, great private schools that cost more than my salary at such for about 20 years. More and more skyscrapers ruining the downtown view, road repair that doubles your commute and takes six months for little change (Bosworth St.!). Oh, and did I mention a drought?

So if you’re thinking of moving to San Francisco, don’t. Maybe once people get the real story, the real estate will settle back down to affordable and young people who aren’t earning six figures in IT can actually live here again.

Spread the word. San Francisco sucks.