The Republic of NRA

I missed the NRA Press Conference, but it came as no surprise that this morally repugnant group of sub-mortals would respond to hearbreak with, “More guns!” I can hear the ka-chink of the cash registers ringing as they hope to capitalize on the suffering and grief. Which is always what such apologist rhetoric is about—“follow the money.”

I have a suggestion. Take two or three of the states in the U.S. with the highest NRA membership and let them secede from the Union and start their own country. We’ll throw a high wall around it (with heavily armed guards, of course) and enact strict immigration laws. Those entering the Republic of NRA will go through the security scanners and be pulled aside if they don’t have a gun. Those leaving will be strip-searched to make sure they don’t have a weapon. That is, after they pass the emigration test of non-violent conflict resolution. If not, it’s back to Gunville they go.

In short, we’ll leave all the NRA enthusiasts alone to create their own Gunutopia. Midwives in birth centers will have automatic weapons on the tray next to the stethoscope. Military police armed with sub-machine guns will stroll down the rows of desks at school checking on the kid’s homework. Wheel-chaired residents of old age homes will have assault rifles strapped to their chair. The ministers in the church will keep their handgun in hand as they preach about Jesus’ message of brotherly love. Oh, what a fine place it will be!

Then after they’ve all killed each other off, we’ll reclaim the land and get back to the business of creating a world of more words than weapons, more faith than fear, more helping than hating.