Too immersed in living the intensity of this training to reflect and write. But it has been a heaven and hell week, mostly heaven with one brief detour to the flames of misunderstanding and sense of betrayal (now worked out). But turns out that heaven is not the place where everyone is happy all the time, but the place where deep joy and deep grief hold hands and dance, where the tears flow as freely as the laughter ripples. The mirror neurons are firing big time as the waterworks have begun. One person sniffles—many times me in front of the class—and our built-in capacity for empathy fires up and the room is awash with tissues. I say, “Let it flow!”
And it’s only going to get worse. Last night was the Untalent Show and both my piano pieces did their work well of lubricating the room with emotion glistening on wet cheeks. This morning, I did it again in class—several times— while still summoning up the presence to keep moving and not melt down into the floor in a puddle. But tomorrow, the Kleenex corporation will enjoy increased profits from our closing circle and then the tsunami of tears will be unleashed in the final closing circle with my teacher Avon’s song, In Living Fully.
Water is meant to flow, people are meant for feeling opening with some salty teardrops and no one should ever say, “I’m sorry” when the flood gates are opened, as if we need to say, “Excuse me for feeling the fragility of beauty and the swiftness of time and the sorrow of saying goodbye and the bitter-sweetness of longing fulfilled and then yearning multiplied. I’m sure we will all enjoy returning to the world of discussing the kids’ soccer pick-up or deciding what ap to buy, of collapsing on the couch and turning that machine on and ordering ‘Entertain me!’
But not yet. Tonight is the formal sharing from all three Levels, a little bit of pressure mixed with the pleasure of reviewing and sharing some of what we’ve done. It will be glorious.
To be continued.