Monday, September 1, 2014

Questions Through the Ages

I was thinking I need to cut my nails today and that got me to reminiscing about the good old college days. Remember when we would sit around for hours in the dorm room passionately debating whether we grew our nails or our nails grew themselves? And would they grow if no one heard the tree that fell in the forest? Ah, those were the days when we had way too much time on our hands and the privilege of thinking about things like that. Granted, there would have been another activity before the discussion that helped kick it off, something I can’t talk about because I might want to run for President some day— and just for the record, I didn’t inhale. But even without that, college life was a luxury that allowed us to ponder metaphysics instead of digging ditches or fighting wars.

Of course, when we graduated and we were firmly in our 20’s, the questions changed. Can I get a job? Can I find a mate? Can I commit to this mate? Is her cool car enough to help me decide? And what is this thing called a Utility Bill?

Then we’re in our 30’s and they changed again. Can I get one full night of sleep, please? Can we get a babysitter tonight? Who’s driving Julie to soccer? How long do I have to put up with my boss?

40’s: Apple or PC? Which ap should I get for my Smartphone? And on to:
How can we handle the empty nest? We’re going to miss the kids so much!

50’s: How can we make sure the kids don’t move back in?

60’s: Do I have enough in my retirement account?

70’s: Which Assisted Living place can I go to and when do I apply?

80’s: Why aren’t the kids visiting?

90’s: My fingernails are growing. Or am I growing them? Whatever! It’s proof I’m alive!

P.S. By the way, when do you know it’s the right time to cut your fingernails? Do people do this on schedule like haircuts? Mark the calendar? Get a “reminder to cut fingernails” ap on their phone? Just curious.

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