New Age Mobsters

If I was more talented, I would write a best-selling screenplay for a movie titled “New Age Mobsters.” The dialogue would be something like this.

 

Hit Man: Hey, Guido. (gun pointing at his head). You done the boss wrong and now you’re gonna pay for it!

 

Guido: Thank you so much for sharing your truth with me. I really appreciate your honesty and I understand completely how that situation might look from your perspective. I just wonder if, using “I” statements, whether you can elaborate. 

 

Hit Man: I’m gonna shoot you dead. That’s my “I” statement. 

 

Guido: Again, much appreciated that you spoke from your own personal truth and again, I completely understand how someone with your particular neurodiverse experience of ADHD might be inclined toward an impulsive action. But remember that we have certain “norms” in this situation and have agreed to honor diverse perspectives. We also agreed that before hiring a hit-man—and by the way, was this publicly announced so people from diverse backgrounds had an opportunity to apply for the job?— that first your employer is required to submit an Incident Report to the relevant committees, who will then look into the complaint. According to our records, not such report has been filed. Once it has, there is a four-day waiting period before we can get back to you. 

 

Well, clearly I’m not talented enough to pull it off, but you get the idea. The new norm for some meetings I attend has that kind of tone, tiptoeing around direct speech, focusing on these polite appreciations that reek of insincerity and avoid the actual conversation they need to have. I so much prefer the Spanish/ Italian/ Jewish style of loud voices and passion and saying—or shouting— exactly what needs to be aired. And then moving on without obsessing about hurt feelings and have a glass of wine together. 

 

Or at least something in-between the two. Face to face, saying what you mean and meaning what you say and stop following the script of someone else’s norms and fantasy of polite conversation where nothing significant ever gets said, where the needed words and grappling with real issues never get spoken for fear of treading on someone’s little trauma or being insensitive to their special way of processing information. Just be honest. Just be real. 

 

Of course, I’ve written on article on the subject, much more articulate than this little excursion. Read on. 

 

PS And if one of you readers does end up writing a screenplay of New Age Mobsters without my permission and it’s a hit, I’m sending my hit-man to come speak to you!