At the airport getting ready for the trip to
Beijing. Not clear about Facebook/ blog policies of present-day China, so if
there’s a lull here, that’s why. If indeed I’m blocked, I’ll keep writing and post when I get to Thailand. Not that anyone is going to miss me terribly, but
in case anyone is wondering, that’s why. Meanwhile, another thing I found in my
“Other’s Writings” folder to keep you entertained.
The following questions were set in last year's GED
examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year
olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and
vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by
which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to
drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the
leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the
oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between
the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there
is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage
company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they
will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how
important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only
happen when a male gets an election.
Q.. What happens to your body as
you age?
A. When you get old, so do your
bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he
reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood
and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated
with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the
bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning
sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but
brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of
the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3
parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains
the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What is the most common form of
birth control?
A. Most people prevent
contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term
'Caesarean section.'
A. The caesarean section is a
district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had
a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the
airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word 'benign'
mean?
A. Benign is what you will be
after you be eight. (brilliant)