The Architects of Addiction: Part 2

Understanding how manufactured addiction works may be the most important subject in our current school of life. And life of a school. We think we are free to define ourselves, can be anyone we dream of being, act out of our own free will. But do we? Might there be invisible puppet-masters pulling our strings, so invisibly and skillfully that we are wholly unaware of their impact on how we think, what we think we want, how we act? Here’s my thumbnail history of how I think those forces are working behind the scenes.

 

The original architects of manipulating human wants and needs were the religious authorities trying to sell you heaven and hell. Most used the strategy of convincing you to avoid the pain and torment of hell, with fear at the forefront. Some tried to entice you with angels with harps, with faith at the forefront. According to how you conformed to someone else’s standards, you would be punished or rewarded.

 

Then came the tradespeople at the marketplace trying to entice you to buy their fruit or baskets or tools. The game was survival and any way they could entice you— a tuneful “Strawberries! Succulent and delicious! Best price over here!”, a persistent haggling, an attractive display— all was fair game. 

 

Centuries later, the marketplace kept expanding with snake-oil salesman in the traveling entertainment shows, then the door-to-door salesman selling beauty products, encyclopedias, vacuum cleaners, aluminum siding and such. (See the fabulous films Paper Moon, Tin Men, The Music Man and read Death of a Salesman for a peek into these worlds.) Now the focus was not on avoiding pain, but feeling the promise of looking better, getting smarter, relieving the drudge of work, making your house better than your neighbors. 

 

The industrial revolution gave new energy to buying and selling and a whole industry was created—the Advertising Industry. Now cleverly scripted ads designed to attract your attention were in the newspapers, the magazines, on billboards, on the radio and later the TV. Psychologist were hired to show how to first make people feel inferior— feed on their fear by suggesting bad breath or missing the party if you didn’t drink Pepsi or being left behind if they didn’t get the latest and greatest. And at the same time, accent the pleasure—“double your pleasure, double your fun, with Doublemint, Doublemint, Doublemint, gum”— packaged in a catchy jingle that you’ll remember —like I do— some 60 years later!

 

Schools used the same techniques. First, a lot of fear, with literal caning, the dunce hat, punishment by isolation (I spent most of 3^rd grade out in the hall). But now the new preferred strategy is reward— “Be good and you’ll earn enough points for a pizza party!” In both cases, avoiding pain or pursuing pleasure become the primary motivators of how we are and how we act. 

 

All of this is confirmed by neuroscience. And then applied to the new round of snake-oil promises to make our life better— i-phones. As described in book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt:

 

“When an action is followed by a good outcome (such as gaining food, or relieving pain, or just achieving a goal), certain brain circuits involved with learning release a bit of dopamine—the neurotransmitter most centrally involved in feelings of pleasure and pain. 

 

The release of dopamine feels good and gets us wanting more. When you eat a potato chip, you get a small hit of dopamine, which is why you then want the second one ever more that you wanted the first one.”

 

Remember the Lay’s Potato Chip ad? “Betcha can’t eat one just one!” 

 

It’s the same with slot machines: A win feels great, but it doesn’t cause gambling addicts to take their earnings and go home, satisfied. Rather, the pleasure motivates them to keep going. It’s the same for video games, social media, shopping sites and other apps that routinely cause people to spend far more time or money than they had intended to spend. The neural basis of behavioral addictions…all involve dopamine, craving, compulsion and feeling powerless to act on your own conscious wishes. That happens by design. The creators of these apps use every trick in the psychologists’ tool kit to hook users as deeply as slot machines hook gamblers. Our children’s desires are being hacked and their actions manipulated. 

 

The author then gives the specifics of this nefarious and purposeful manipulation. He imagines a 12-year-old girl trying to study for her test tomorrow in science class. The app designers see her as prey to be lured away from her task and brought into their world. Not for her growth or well-being, but as a pawn in their game to earn big money. How do they do it?

 

Step 1: An external trigger— like the “ping” on her phone that gets her to exit her straight-road focus and take the off-ramp to see what it is. “Did somebody like my last Facebook/ Instagram post?”

 

Step 2: From past experience, she hopes a little dopamine rush awaits her and thus, she is invested in the game and motivated to see what it is.

 

Step 3: She naturally hopes for a reward— “20 likes!” But it turns out the reward is not dependable. It’s variable. There might just be one “like” or a snarky comment. That feeds her persistence, like that gambler at the slot machine. The anticipation of possible more “likes” keeps her distracted and indeed, the anticipation of the reward makes for a heightened dopamine rush when it finally comes. 

 

With her attention split off in all these directions, it is no surprise that she has trouble focusing on studying for the test. To make the whole show even more evil, she then may be diagnosed with ADHD as if it’s her fault that she can’t concentrate while the App designers who consciously strive to lure her away with promises of rewards, novelty and surface emotion, are celebrated as good businesspeople making millions while the poor girl is then given drugs to manage her “learning disability” that they created. 

 

Like drug or alcohol addiction, once the nervous system becomes dependent on device distraction, the “brain enters a state of deficit when the user is not taking the drug. If dopamine release is pleasurable, dopamine deficit is unpleasant. Ordinary life becomes boring and even painful without the drug. Nothing feels good anymore, except the drug. The addicted person is in a state of withdrawal… the universal symptoms of which include anxiety, irritability, insomnia and dysphoria. 

 

My 11-year-old grandson is allowed an hour of videogame play, set by a timer. At the end, I notice some of those symptoms above. By contrast, after an hour of hiking or swimming or playing basketball or playing cards together or reading, none of those symptoms appear! (Well, he gets a little irritable when I beat him in basketball. Ha ha!)

 

That’s the bad news. 

 

And there’s more. In yesterday’s post, I mentioned all the ways I thought I had built up my immune system so none of the above would happen to me. But that’s not the case. When traveling, I have the phone on the bedstand because of the alarm, but I find that if I awake in the middle of the night, turn it on to see the time, I find myself also wondering, “Any messages?” And start to scroll a bit. Bad idea. And be honest, how many people take their phones in the bathroom with them. Don’t want to waste any time while sitting on the toilet! 

Walking in the city, I often listen to my Audible story, but then miss the bird calls high up in the tree or the soothing sounds of the ocean waves. Whereas once I waited for two hours for a bus in India without batting an eye—because back then, the whole culture was immersed in real time just sitting and observing and chatting—now after a minute at the bus stop, I’m checking my phone. 

As someone with that free-range childhood foundation, a meditation and music practice and time spent in nature, as an elder with frontal lobes developed as much as they ever will be, I am capable of setting some limits. While I write Blogposts or books, I silence the phone or ignore all pings. Same with practicing piano. Now I set a time limit to how much I’ll listen to my book while walking in the neighborhood and just shut it off for the rest. A while back, I tried out limiting myself to three different times of the day when I’d check in on the phone. 

 

But for all these efforts to tie myself to the mast of the ship, the Sirens keep calling. In the reversal of the Indian situation where very few people (back in 1978) had phones (back them, landlines) or cars or rat-race schedules where they had to punch in at work, the whole society moved at the same slow pace and no one was punished for moving that slowly. But when the hyper-mania increased to the point that if you’re going to be two minutes late to the restaurant, you’re expected to text your impatient friends, it is hard to resist getting pulling into the rush hour race to nowhere. 

 

But the good news is that somewhere deep inside, free will still exists. We can join with our family, friends, colleagues and community to refuse that which makes us more isolated, more anxious, more manic and just chill out together. There are many hopeful signs that people are deciding to do just that. Parties where people leave their phones at the door, meals where looking at a phone is as rude as lighting up a cigarette (remember that we changed that rule!), Facebook posts that are more poetry and important social justice information than cute cat pictures. 

 

But consider the children. They are vulnerable and minus frontal lobes and prone to sensation and distraction and while we think we are protecting them from predators out in the dangerous world by keeping them at home, we fling the doors open wide to the IT folks preying on them for profit, doing nothing whatsoever to protect them from overuse and addiction (indeed, just the opposite) and never having to be accountable for it all— as in, having to teach a whole class of kids with their phones blazing. If I were to punish them, that would be my first choice. 

 

Reflect on your own addiction, resolve to protect children and let’s learn to use our creations responsibly, not with mindless platitudes, but with law, policies, procedures, limits, the same way we once protected children from pornography (available at a click of a button!), alcohol and drugs. It’s not just possible, but necessary. 

The Architects of Addiction

Growing up in the 1950’s/60’s, I, like all of us back then, had a free-range childhood. Made yet more glorious by living a half-a-block from a 200-acre park where my friends and I roamed and played with sticks and stones, bats and balls, climbed trees, caught autumn leaves, played tag and hide-and-seek and generally basked in the glory of children being 100% children, not an adult or a device in sight. 

 

From that foundation, I grew into an adulthood that included hiking and biking and backpacking, still roaming in a park (Golden Gate Park in San Francisco) a half-a-block from my house, often with a ball or frisbee in hand, playing, singing and dancing with children— and sometimes adults— day after day after day, sitting meditation in Zen retreats for 10 hours a day just following my breath— no talking, no reading and certainly no screen-viewing. For many years, I didn’t own a TV and when my wife and I got one, it lived in the hall closet, to be rolled down the hall on Thursday nights and sometimes on Saturday with a VHS video chosen from Le Video. 

 

So for the first 60 years of my life, I was almost entirely free of the addictions that awaited us all. Somewhere around 2010, I finally got a flip phone and quite late amongst my peers, didn't get an i-Phone until 2018. So it is only in the past eight years of my 75 that the epidemic entered my life. You would think that with this solid background of freedom from mindless distractions and feeling thoroughly at home with silence and stillness and mindful attention to the real world around me, that I would not be vulnerable to the kind of device-addiction plaguing us all. 

You would be wrong. 

 

I just read the section in Jonathan Haidt’ s important book The Anxious Generation about addiction (pp. 129-136) and if I’m honest, I have to admit — they got me! Their purposefully manufactured poisonous intentions for their own profit are working. If this is true of someone like me who theoretically would be more aware and less vulnerable with decades of autonomous experience freed from devices, imagine how much more devastating it is for defenseless children who know nothing else but this world of 24/7 phones. And not only are the people creating and selling this venomous snake oil not in jail, but they’re rich as hell and driving up the housing prices in my fair city and unleashing their driverless vehicles into the street. What’s wrong with this picture?

 

To be informed and aware of these forces at play theoretically is the only defense against them. But again, their toxic presence is in the air we breathe and all around us. It takes almost a superhuman effort to resist. But nevertheless, we should persist.

 

Drawing from Haidt’s book, I’ll summarize how this designed addiction works in the next post. But first I have to check my Facebook likes. 

Reforming Teachers

I imagine we all feel the world would be a better place if everyone put us in charge and did what we command. But the mantra “That ain’t gonna happen” rings out loud and true. We can’t single-handedly change the toxic practices of an entire school, school system, parenting practices, cultural practices, rulings.  We can’t single-handedly hold tech companies responsible for the children’s well-being or change laws that forbid certain information and pass on other lies. Since we are powerless to single-handedly change all the rules, laws, policies, beliefs, attitudes that might make for happier teachers teaching happier children in happier schools, we have to come to terms with the irrefutable truth that the only thing we have the power to change is ourselves. That’s where the real work begins. 

 

The teachers that come to the Orff trainings my colleagues and I teach are there precisely for that purpose. And it works. Testimonies abound about how the training helped them understand the details of their craft— how to create coherent curriculums, make each lesson more musical with a clear shape and design, how to guide student composition and improvisation, etc. It helped them consider how to be more patient with their students, more compassionate, more relaxed and more capable of having fun with their students while holding them to high standards of accomplishment. It helped re-ignite their passion and love for teaching so that even with its hard parts, the pleasure was always present. 

 

But they often report that what they experience with fellow teachers in an idyllic magical retreat setting is hard to carry into their classes when the school year begins, because of the other factors listed above. They leave the Orff training feeling fully embraced by the closing circle of 100 beautiful souls singing while weeping and step back into the first back-to-school meeting watching a Powerpoint on national standards and legal requirements. What to do?

 

My advice is to pay Caesar whatever coins you must to survive, but when you shut the door to your room and begin class, God is in the house. Do everything you can to be the change you wish to see in the world. Don’t dwell on the challenges of toxic school practices or culturally-induced kid traumas. Start from wherever you are and moment by moment, adjust your teaching to bring maximum fun, challenge and healing into each and every activity. 

 

Let me be clear. Reforming teachers as I described above is the opposite of pouring them into a mindless mold to make them all alike, compliant and goosestepping to the mandated script and perfect lesson procedure. It means giving teachers permission to grow into their own natural shape and teach from the center of their passion, to follow their unique and particular way of unleashing each child’s genius. In this way, to re-form is to discard the imposed herd-mentality die and cast and claim yourself wholly as a teacher ready to lead children to their own natural forms. When you do so, regardless of what happens outside your classroom door, you have the power to make life beautiful inside your door. Enjoy!

Reforming Children

 

This may seem a strange title when we think about that institution we used to call Reform School. That was the place we sent children who had not been properly formed in the first place (according to our society’s standards) and so, were in need of re-forming. And though there are many families, counter-cultural groups and yes, schools, doing a fine job of getting it right the first time and giving children what they so deeply need and richly deserve (a lovely phrase coined by my colleagues James Harding and Sofia Lopez-Ibor), the reports are coming in that the choices we are making are obstructing the natural formation of children— and thus, on some level, they all are in need of re-forming. How does that play out in the school? 

 

When the kids line up outside your door, they also will step in with a crowd of invisible companions. There’s the personal life they carry that will affect how they can receive your brilliant teaching. Did they get enough sleep? Eat breakfast? Spend four hours last night playing violent video games or scrolling through toxic tik-tok posts? Is their dog sick or their sibling mean or their parents struggling with alcoholism, drug abuse, anger issues, trouble paying their bills? None of which we can fix but all of which we should be aware of. 

 

Then there’s the collective permissions given by the greater culture for kids to give up their play-based childhood and outsource their physical fitness, social intelligence, critical thinking, emotional well-being to electronic devices. A child who walks through the day with a phone in hand is a different being than one carrying books, pens, paintbrushes, xylophone mallets, balls, jump-ropes and such. Well-researched books like The Anxious Generation and The Myth of Normal paint a bleak picture of depression, anxiety, bullying, suicide, addiction, a growing epidemic of learning dysfunctions, lack of motivation and more. Phone-based childhoods are rapidly replacing play-based childhood and nature’s timetable for the child’s developing intelligence, emotional regulation, social skills has been disrupted in a mere 15 years of “technological progress.” Teachers who have been teaching 20 years note the difference in their students’ motivation and ability to read, think critically, respect the teacher. People who have been teaching for 40 years, even more so. Many feel that it is has never been so difficult to teach children of all ages.

 

Does all of this affect what happens each day when the children walk into our classroom? Yes, it does. Should we be concerned? You bet. Should we educate parents about the dangers of these devices, outlaw cell phones in the classroom, read and discuss the books above (and others?), monitor our own use of screens in the classroom? Of course. But again, that’s a strong current to swim upstream in and again, we will not solve these problems in time for Monday’s class. 

 

And that brings us to the next post. 

 

 

Reforming Schools

Sometimes it happens that these blogposts, my Facebook posts, my Podcast and my books leak over into each other. Only natural that they would and since each attracts (I think) different audiences, it’s fine to repeat things. Even if the same people who listen to the Podcast read a similar post, it’s also fine to repeat things. Especially if they’re worthy of repeating. 

 

That’s yours to decide, but the fact that I post them means that I, for one, think they’re worthy! So here is a written version of my next Podcast, more or less, divided into three parts. In looking at how to help teachers struggling with particular issues and questions—which should mean ALL teachers, no matter how accomplished they are— I list three factors that are at play:

1)   School and the surrounding culture that informs it— parenting, media, law, religion, physical location, etc. 

2)   Children and the way they reflect both the tonic and toxic practices of the above cultures, how it affects them, how it prepares them or obstructs them in their capacities to learn.

3)   Teachers and how they meet their obligation to nurture children in the sacred trust that teaching is—or should be. 

 

And so a few words about Part 1.

 

SCHOOLS: When you, the teacher, walk into the classroom, you don’t step into it alone. By your side is the particular school culture you’re immersed in, with all its ideas about what education means, all its rules and procedures, all it’s notions about who children are and what we want them to be. 

 

And then behind the school culture is the greater culture. From your particular county or town or city, with its particular blend of churches, temples, mosques, Mom and Pop stores downtown and megastores at the mall, football stadiums and jazz clubs, to the policies and ethos and diverse populations in your particular State, with its own history and laws that either support or obstruct your mission as a teacher, to the entire history of the whole country, the horrors of centuries of wars and injustices side-by-side with last night’s media fare with guns blazing and the latest awfulness on the 24/7 news. All of it walks in behind you, in front of you, side-by-side with you as you enter the sacred space of a school classroom and almost all of it is invisible and unnamed. But not unfelt.

 

All of it is written in invisible ink in your teacher contract and spells out the very notion of what it means to be a teacher, a moving target that is constantly changing, usually without the teacher’s consent. Like the frog in the slowly boiling water, we don’t notice the death-dealing heat until it’s too late and the culture has sleepwalked their way into a new notion about what it means to be a teacher that is toxic to the children, the teachers, the parents, the administrators and our future as a thriving country alike. Where once a teacher was expected to thoroughly know their subject, have reasonable skill in conveying essential information to the students and maintain some semblance of social decorum in the classroom, suddenly we’re expected to be each child’s therapist, life coach, guidance counselor, learning specialist, friend and surrogate parent. We are expected to make sure each lesson is geared precisely to each child’s individual needs while also attending to their emotional intelligence, physical needs, diagnosed learning disability, proclaimed gender identity. Depending on which state you teach in, we’re expected to either include social justice issues or purposefully exclude them in our lessons.

 

The list of things we’re allowed and not allowed to say or do is long and constantly shifting, the consequences for making mistakes more extreme, our voice in determining school policy and shaping school culture is unwanted by the rulemakers, the physical danger from unhinged students more prevalent,, training for handing school shootings and if some had their way, training to carry a gun in the classroom, part of our teacher preparation, all for the same (or smaller salary), less and less appreciation from admin, parents, students and the culture at large and more and more blame that we’re not taking on the responsibilities for our children’s mental, emotional and physical health that parents, politicians, media promoters are failing miserably to meet.  This is as true in elite private schools as it is in progressive independent schools as it is in public schools. 

 

When we walk into the classroom, all of this walks in with us. Both the failings and gifts of the surrounding culture. All of it. We would do well to recognize its presence when we consider why teaching feels more and more difficult and less and less satisfying. It’s part of what’s at play when we find ourselves struggling in the classroom.

 

Should we recognize these forces at work and name them? That would be a good idea. Work on changing school culture? Where it’s not working, we certainly should. On changing the surrounding culture? Absolutely. Should we discuss these issues at staff meetings? Now there’s a radical thought! And depending on our particular school situation, it might help to. attend school board meetings and when needed, to petition or protest or strike or vote.. 

 

But that’s a long-term vision and not likely to change in time to make Monday’s class more engaging, fun and satisfying. So while we’re contributing to such changes and waiting for them to take root, that’s not where our whole focus should be. But before we arrive at that, there’s more to consider. Read on.

Dear Dr. Dougie

As promised, here’s a sample of the kind of question and answer I imagine for the next “season” of my Podcast, a kind of cross between Dear Abby (Dougie?) and Ask Dr. Doug. Whether or not you’re a music teacher, the principles can be useful for any teacher— or even parents, for that matter. Here’s the question: 

 

I am an elementary music teacher in a small town in Montana. I've been enjoying your blog, books, and podcast. I have a question if you have a moment to offer some advice. I love the idea of teaching through silence (explaining less and going through a musical activity without speech). When I've attempted this it is sometimes pretty tricky for the kids to maintain silence for very long. When a student starts making noise, I find myself getting frustrated and wanting to stop and address the issue which seems to take the magic out of the moment. Do you have suggestions for redirecting those students who are making it hard to maintain the magic? Thank you for your time,

 

And my answer: 

 

Great question! I often begin workshops with teachers teaching two or three pieces over a 45-minute period without saying a word. But I will sing or clap  or recite a rhyme for them to echo. Silent teaching is not actually silent— there’s musical sound, but no unnecessary explanations. I’m giving instructions, but with the body and gesture and hands and face, like a conductor communicates so much information to the symphony orchestra or a jazz musician shapes the music through the music itself. The teachers are often astounded by how much we can accomplish in this way. And then I warn them, “But don’t expect this to go smoothly with kids the first few times you try it. They often will shout out, “Why aren’t you talking?!!! What’s wrong with the teacher?!!!” and the whole magical bubble bursts. 

 

My general philosophy about any “classroom management problem” is to anticipate the problem and make a game out of it. So one remedy is to write on the board:

 

” Kids, my throat hurts today and I can’t talk, so let’s see if I can teach this lesson without talking. Just watch me. And remember that like any lesson, you shouldn’t talk out of turn. Raise your hand if you think we can do it! Okay, let’s go!”

 

A related strategy is make up a story. Wear a nice shirt and once the kids enter and are settled in a circle or other formation, ask them:

 

“Put your thumb up if you like my shirt.” If most liked it, you might go on:

 

 “I see some of you agree with me— I really like this shirt. It belonged to my friend and every time he wore it, I complemented him. One day I told him how I went to a workshop where the teacher taught us for 30 minutes without saying a word and at the end, we had made fabulous music.  He didn’t believe it was possible and so I said, ‘Well, if I can do it, will you give me your shirt? And if I can’t, I’ll give you any of my shirts that you want.’ Then he added, ‘But the kids also have to not talk while you’re teaching.’ I agreed and we shook hands.

 

So this was a few years ago and I had a fabulous class of ______ graders who I thought could do it. Do you think we did it? Well, here’s the proof—I’m wearing his shirt! Since then, I’ve always been looking for another class as great as that one and I’ve never found one yet. But you guys are pretty fabulous. I think you might be the ones. Shall we try it? 

 

And by the way, he learned not to offer me any more shirts. So there’s no reward if we do. Just the pleasure of meeting the challenge. And if you do it, I will be telling stories about you in the years to come! Ready? Let’s go!”

 

Of course, none of these are foolproof, but they’re intriguing and playful and motivating to the kids in the right way. Offering them a challenge rather than a “Do this—or else!” command. And if one kid talks out of turn, you don’t have to get angry. Just a playful, “Ohhh! We were so close. Oh well!” Or “Shall we try again?”  Or “Maybe another day.” No blame, no shame, just keep it light and playful. 

 

Give it a try— give it many tries— and let me know how it goes!

 

Kids are kids and teachers are people with different levels of tolerance, but these kind of playful ways to motivate students and keep the energy light and fun are gamechangers. It’s a big part of how I can still be teaching kids for over 50 years and not feel burn-out. Indeed, feel more energized after the classes than when I began. Give it a go!

 

Serendipity

 

Serendipity: the ability to find good and valuable things by accident when you’re not looking for them.

 

Synchronicity: a meaningful coincidence where an internal thought or feeling aligns with an external event, even though there is no logical cause-and-effect connection between them.

 

Tonight, if I’m lucky and my name gets chosen from the basket, I’ll tell that story of looking for Jim and Karen Bold in the Yorkshire Dales (see An Extraordinary Tale blogposts, May 30/31st)) at the storytelling venue, The Moth. The theme of the stories is serendipity. While the dictionary definition suggests that such experiences are random accidents, I disagree—they’re signs that when you’re on the right path, invisible forces gather around you and helping hands appear. Perhaps that’s more accurately described as synchronicity (see above), but I think both words are deeply related. As suggested by Goethe:

 

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth…
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents
and meetings and material assistance,
which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

So having just recorded the last of my ABC’s of Education Podcast, I’ve been searching for the next incarnation of it. Suddenly, I’ve gotten e-mails from several of my recent Level III students asking for advice about specific challenges they’re facing. And then I got one from a teacher in Montana who had never studied with me but had read several of my books and my Blog and followed my Podcast. He asked an excellent question that deserved a thoughtful response and I will share both his question and my answer in the next Blog. But the timing of this serendipitous/ synchronistic moment was noteworthy.

 

1)   It came just at the time I was considering continuing the Podcast with questions from teachers about the details of specific issues in their classes which I would address. After the visionary, ideal philosophical perspective of the episodes in the ABC Podcast, this would be a chance to apply the ideas to the practical world of the daily class. 

 

2)   The stunning unexpected surprise is that the inquiry came from the husband of a daughter of a dear friend who died too young some 18 years ago. I occasionally get news of her and knew she was married, but had no idea her husband became a music teacher! Yet another unexpected moment that affirms my intuition that there are mysterious forces at work that give meaning, shape and design to a life. Certainly to mine!

 

Read on for the question and my answer—which may go on to be the first episode of the new Podcast “Season.”