One of the valid criticisms of social media is the way we choose our friends there and have our thoughts and feelings validated by people we know and like, even as they might occasionally respectfully disagree. It’s a lovely place to be, but also creates an Echo Chamber that potentially steps to the side of the kind of engagement that considers diverse points of view.
However, to engage in civil discourse requires that people stick with ideas separate from personality and avoid personal insult. That they back up their point of view with genuine quality research rather than mere opinion. That they’re open to considering another perspective. In short, that there’s an atmosphere of mutual respect and willingness to listen.
In general, the comments on my Facebook posts are exactly that. In my recent one, a version of the last Blogpost about Stephen Colbert, I enjoyed the dopamine rush of “Perfect! Sharing!,” “Yes!”, “Bravo!” and the best kind of comment, “Thanks for saying what many of us feel.” Some people respectfully disagreed with my suggestion and felt that his way of leaving the show worked well for them and was just what it need to be. A good example of mutually sharing different points of view with calm and respect.
But then came the surprising comments from people I didn’t know, ranging from somewhat snarky to maliciously mean-spirited:
“Well, when you get your OWN TV show, you can give your own speech!!!”
“Too bad it’s all a lie. SC is simply not funny. He first played a conservative dunce and in real life he morphed into the libtard version of that character in real life. He is done, not funny, not relatable, not employed.”
“You’re a phkn idiot. His shit show of a how was losing 40 million per year. That’s why his dumbass got cancelled.”
Well, that wasn’t a fun way to start my day. Get me back to the echo chamber!
Of course, not the slightest reason to take it personally or defend myself or try to reason with these lovely people. But the way our hearts and brains are wired, of course, we feel threatened and go into defense mode. I can only imagine what kind of hate mail Stephen Colbert gets and the sheer volume of it. Not to mention any public figure who dares to expose themselves to the masses through writing, acting, performing. Especially those who tell uncomfortable truths, whose inboxes are not only filled with the vitriol and venom of scorn and contempt, but death threats as well. I imagine you need to grow a pretty thick skin to armor yourself against such attacks. Or develop a Buddhist transparency that lets the arrows pass through without drawing blood.
But why does it need to be this way? For those who feel the need to attack anything that makes them think harder or consider something, it is revealing more about their knee-jerk reactions and low emotional and intellectual intelligence than anything else. But between the ease of social-media flaming without any face-to-face conversation, the permission of the Twitter-hate speech President gives to say whatever you want without a moment’s pause, the whole tone of national discourse has gone straight to the bottom of the barrel. And amidst the other toxic symptoms of a misogynist mansplaining and man-spreading culture, men seem particularly vulnerable to reveal their deep insecurities by spewing their venomous anger whenever and however and to whomever they want. In a recent Youtube summary of eight pianists that Chick Corea admired, it said that Keith Jarrett and Chick Corea both played in Miles Davis’ band, but never together. So someone commented:
“Wrong. Keith Jarrett and Chick Corea played together in Miles Davis Isle of Wight concert. Do your research, pal.”
The correction was appropriate, the tone unnecessary. And this and other comments like that were written by theoretically spiritually elevated jazz enthusiasts!
My Echo Chamber is filled with the overtones of beautiful music, created by and appreciated by the people I would wish us all to be. Outside, the people I know exist (those 70 million voters!)but rarely meet are throwing their stones at the walls, but thankfully, the thuds are cushioned by the music of genuine civil discourse.
Thanks for indulging me in this little vent so I can get on with my day and work on my Buddhist transparency.


