Pho, Fajitas and Fun

 

Pho, Fajitas, Coconut Rice and other exquisite meals, baking cookies, three long hikes, basketball on a court and “basketball” in a pool, ping-pong, paddleball, hot tub hangs, parallel reading, poetry sharing, storytelling, drawing, dance party, jigsaw puzzling and games, games, games—Taboo, Code Names, Monopoly Deal, Rummikub, Boggle, Bananagrams, Pit, Spoons, Rummy 500, King’s Corner, Charades— that’s the snapshot of the five-day Palm Springs (technically Indio) Goodkin/Taylor vacation time together. 

 

We gave 13-year-old Zadie the space to spend some time alone in her room, as she needs, but the expectation was full participation in all of the above and truth be told, she mostly did it with great delight. As did 9-year-old Malik ,as did two generations in their 40’s and 70’s. The only thing I would wish more of is group singing and music-making and you would think that would be a natural way for the daughters and grandkids of this music teacher to connect. But not exactly so. And given all the above, that’s fine.

 

I do identify heavily with my life’s work as that music teacher, but this trip reminded me of how much I value family time and how important it feels that we do so much together instead of just hang around looking at our phones. We considered making a rule about the latter, but never needed to as the other real-time, physical and social activities were—and are— so much more enticing. We usually watch at least one movie during this Holiday Time on the big TV Screen in our Air B&B, but didn’t even do that this year. Much more fun to do something all together. 

 

Like last night’s Dance Party, where each of us got to choose a favorite dance tune and lead a dance that often mixed “copy me” with “free form.” Zadie was the DJ gathering the tunes for Alexa to play and my choice was Jumpin’ at the Woodside teaching all my basic Lindy Hop steps I teach in the Jazz Course (thanks to Susan Kennedy for introducing them to me some 35 years ago!). Darn if they didn’t enjoy that almost as much as their contemporary tunes and dance moves. 

 

And here’s a good time to confess something. I’ve loved my daughters every minute of their whole life and each developmental stage has brought its own unique delight. But it’s worth saying out loud, as I did to them at the end of our vacation, that not only am I so proud of who they’ve become at every level— fabulous cooks, physically active adults, deep thinkers and lifelong readers, committed social justice activists, fun and playful people, superb professional workers and all around stellar human beings—but that I just love being around them. We tend to enjoy the same things, each with our unique inflections and thus, we love sharing them with each other. 

 

And equally wonderful to see the grandkids grow and develop. As I said goodbye to them at the airport, I enthusiastically shouted, “Hey, we had 10 days together and not a single time-out!” and Zadie reminded me not to say that quite so loud in a public space. But whereas a year ago, she would have been mortified and embarrassed and angry at me, today she reminded me with a little smile. And Malik responded wonderfully to our attempts to guide him into maturity and after a mere few days with a clear to-do list, remembered on his own to put the cap back on the toothpaste, pour himself less cereal so he didn’t leave half-a-bowl uneaten, put his plate straight in the dishwasher after dinner and bring his towel to the pool before he jumped in the water for the next 7 hours so he wouldn’t keep yelling at the end, “I need a towel!”

 

It was equally gratifying to welcome Talia’s sweetheart Matt to these traditions and he jumped in with both feet and never looked back. As an active P.E. teacher who loves to play and loves kids and loves to cook and loves to clean and loves to read and loves to worry about AI taking over the world as do I, his energy bolstered the fun. I think it infected my wife Karen as well, who had us cracking up with her moves on the basketball court, who played the pool basketball with great gusto, who had us laughing with Charades and generally fully released her own delightful inner-child. 

 

Now we’re all back in our separate corners to schools, workplaces, homes, as it needs to be. But counting the three days in San Francisco and two days of traveling down to Indio, it has been a most marvelous 10-days. A reminder for us all to play more together, cook more together, laugh more together and if you have the momentary luxury, yes, hang out in the hot tub together. Gratitude for it all.