FWP

Last night, I happily re-read another chapter on my computer of my new book I’m working on. Then performed my ritual “Hare and Rabbits” before going to sleep in June and waking up in July. May and June have just been such memorable months this year and I had —and have—great hopes for July.

 

But after the morning Wake Up to Life exercise with Kofi and the group, I brought my computer to breakfast for the usual e-mail check in and such (Internet doesn’t reach to my room). Opened it up and the screen was dark. Pressed the start button. Nothing. No whirring mechanisms, no flickers of light. Dead. I asked any tech savvy folks in the group for help and a few came and tried the secret code bypass mechanisms to start the machine. Nothing. 

I brought it back to my room, plugged it in in case it was out of charge (which didn’t make sense, as it was fine last night). The green “fully-charged” light came on in five minutes but still no response. Nada. Zilch. Zero. 

 

Was this Buddhist practitioner with over a half of century of cultivating equanimity in all situations and beings utterly independent of cause and effect, good or bad news, upset? You’re damn straight! And here’s why:

 

1)   Exiled from writing this daily blogposts for at least the next six days before I return to San Francisco. 

2)   Nervous about losing things I cared about on the desktop, like revisions to my new book. 

3)   Not happy that my reunion with San Francisco will require major problem solving at the Apple Store and probably an expensive new computer with complicated transfer of info from my Hard Drive.

4)   Disappointed in the universe that is supposed to make sense. Why would everything just suddenly and randomly stop working?

 

No choice but to go teach my xylophone class and the simple act of coordinating hands, ears and mind in company with fellow musicians did the trick in keeping my mind outside the door of the pity party. When it was over, I decided not to go to my room and try to turn on the computer again, knowing the only thing it would re-start is my upset. Meanwhile, I was thinking of how to handle the four points above.

 

1)   I could hand write my blogs and enter them at a later date.

2)   Maybe there’s someone in Dzodze (like there was in Rio) that’s good at troubleshooting situations like this. 

3)   If San Francisco starts with a visit to the Apple Store, so be it. I can deal.

4)   If you think about it, there’s always a moment when this turns into that. A virus enters, a depression shows up unexpectedly, a machine stops working. So it doesn’t have to make sense. 

 

At lunch, I checked in with Kofi about a possible computer person in Dzodze and he said there might be, but first insisted I try again. I said I knew it won’t work, but to humor him, sure I’ll try it. And then I heard a sound and the apple appeared on the screen and —it was working! A bit of a snafu with Word that involved re-signing in with codes and such, but then that worked as well. 

Am I nervous it can happen again at any moment? A little. But meanwhile, so relieved that it seems to be back to its old reliable self. And now I’m off to an Atentenben flute class with a lighter step.

 

Oh, and what is FWP? My little acronym for First-World Problem. Though I don’t like the term “First World” because in so many ways, we are the last. And ironically, I need this machine to share my thoughts on why and how we can move up the scale. That’s modern life.