Like any red-blooded American boy growing up in the 1950’s and 60’s, I was obsessed with war movies. Loved the explosions and the tough good guys vanquishing the enemy. I remember seeing the old movie (1945) Pride of the Marines and afterwards rode my bike for an hour circling the block singing The Marine’s Hymn at the top of my lungs. Later, I had my Dad paint a portrait of Andrew Jackson (the one on the $20) bill after reading his biography somewhere around 4th grade. Hung it in my room and his was the first face I saw when I woke up and the last one I saw before turning to sleep. Of course, I knew nothing back then about the Trail of Tears and the enslaved human beings he owned as property. He was just a valiant general who won the battle of New Orleans and that was enough for me.
Somewhere around 5th grade, I read The West Point Story and had a brief fantasy of setting my sights to enroll when I was of age. I began a regimen of waking early and doing more push-ups then I was really capable of and generally trying to install some iron discipline in my small body. I think that lasted about two days and I gave up on West Point forever (though ended up having lovely family time and walks in nature as an adult staying at The West Point Inn).
Fast forward some 6 or 7 years and now I was reading Thoreau, Whitman and Emerson, alongside The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Catcher in the Rye, Catch 22. Instead of war movies, I was switching to films like To Kill a Mockingbird, Rebel Without a Cause, Inherit the Wind, The Defiant Ones, The Graduate, each and every one siding with an underdog questioning “the Establishment” and moving against the grain. All to Bob Dylan’s soundtrack Masters of War, Blowin’ in the Wind, The Times They Are A-Changing alongside the Beatles, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel and so many others.
So when I reached the age when I could be drafted to fight in a real war, the kind I relished as a child, I was less than enthusiastic. I was beginning to understand any war was not as glamorous as those TV films and this one in particular was one that the U.S. was in for all the wrong reasons and that what soldiers were going through was yet more hellish than the proverbial and eternally true “War is hell.” By the time I was about to graduate college, the lottery kicked in and the war was winding down and I was lucky to never have had to make the choice that was no choice at all for me. I refused to be fodder for a senseless war. And aren’t they all?
Why am I writing about this? Because I’ve woken up in Ho Chi Minh City, the old Saigon. The lesson is not lost on me that this means something so much different now than it did back in 1973. And gives me hope that things that once were horrific can now be attractive and welcoming. While my beloved flawed country is mired in its own horrific downturn of the Wheel of Fortune, this helps feed my faith that this, too, shall pass.
Meanwhile, 60 Vietnamese music teachers await me and I hope to invite them into the place where strength is tenderness and vulnerability, where explosions of joy await, where we will greet children armed with love and compassion.