National ______ Day

 

I hope this week that everybody has dutifully eaten Chocolate Parfaits, Tuna, Truffles and abandoned their diet. Also recited some nursery rhymes, went to the gym, tipped their babysitter, appreciated their school principal, went to the museum and read the collected works of Doonesbury. According to the calendar of Special Days, the above and more was worthy of your attention: 

 

• May 1: International Labor Day (also known as May Day), Loyalty Day, Law Day, National Chocolate Parfait Day, National Mother Goose Day, and School Principals' Day. 
• May 2:  National Brothers and Sisters Day, World Tuna Day, Baby Day and National Truffle Day
• May 3: World Press Freedom Day, World Asthma Day, Sun Day
• May 4: International Firefighter's Day, Intergalactic Star Wars Day, and National Weather Observers Day. 
• May 5: Cinco de Mayo, Museum Lovers Day, Cartoonist Day
• May 6: International No Diet Day, International Space Day. National Teachers Day
• May 7: National Babysitters Day, National Fitness Day, and Astronomy Day. 

 

Yesterday was Teacher’s Day. This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Oh, how we love to give something a day, increase Hallmark’s revenue, mention something in passing and never think about it again while we continue to organize our society around thoroughly disrespecting teachers and do nothing to support the extraordinary demands of motherhood. The hypocrisy is stunning.

 

But it is possible that soon we’ll grow nostalgic for at least pretending that we cared about such things. Now there seems to be something new under the sun. Simply posting a sign about welcoming all students can get a teacher fired, kindness is now spoken out loud as a weakness, empathy is deemed (actual Republican quotes) as "toxic and sinful" and an "existential threat to Western civilization." 

 

It's possible that a new calendar in the near future might be as follows:

·      National Elect a Fascist Day

·      National Deport Innocent People Day

·      National Get Away with Bribery, Sexual Assault and Treason Day

·      National Celebration of Ignorance Day

·      National Bullying Day

·      National Mass Shooting Day

·      National Opioid Addiction So Drug Companies Get Rich Day

·      National Homophobia Day

·      National Preserve the Patriarchy Day

·      National Storm the Capitol and Get a Pardon Day

·      National Lying Day

·      National Denial of Climate Change Day

 

We may soon look back in nostalgia at National Chocolate Parfait Day. Oh, wasn’t that a time!