Dropping In

Growing up in the 50’s and the 60’s, my friends and I did something that most kids in the U.S. today rarely experience. We’d walk to each other’s house and stand outside and shout, “Hey, Billy!!!” Billy would come to the door and off we went to play. Imagine that! As far as I remember, we didn’t knock on doors or ring bells, maybe occasionally called “Key-o-Key!”, which was Timmy’s signature call on the TV show Lassie. We just shouted our friend’s name and then took off into the neighborhood or the park or the backyard without a parent in sight. None of us could have imagined a future where the parents had to arrange a “playdate.”

 

My parents weren’t the social butterfly types in the neighborhood, so I don’t remember adults dropping by in the same casual way. But we’d watch those family TV shows where indeed neighbors, mostly housewives staying at home, would show up unannounced, give a little knock or even just walked into the unlocked door and the host would offer some coffee and tea and they’d sit down and chat. 

 

Though perhaps in some small towns and rural neighborhoods, such things still may happen today, I think most would agree that even if your best friend just turned up at your house to sit down and hang out, you’d be thinking, “What the hell? I’ve got things to do and I’m on a schedule. How rude!”

 

In fact, we’re so nervous about imposing on our friends that some of us text first to get permission to make even a phone call to talk! And if we do make a date to meet at a café or a place in the park to walk, we start texting if our friend is even three minutes late. “Hey, I’m here. Are you coming?”

 

And speaking of calling, do you remember how much long-distance phone calls used to cost? If we had a friend or family member who lived far away, it was a big deal— and a big bill— to call and catch up. The idea that we could call New York from San Francisco for the same price as a local phone call was unheard of, never mind the cheap What’s Ap call to Europe or Asia or Australia etc.. You would think that now we would be in constant touch with friends far and wide. But you would be wrong. 

 

This came to mind as I walked through Golden Gate Park in 85 degree heat on my way to the ocean to have that rare experience of dipping into the waters of the Pacific Ocean. During my 7-mile (round trip) odyssey, I found myself thinking of some friends and acquaintances who I hadn’t talked to or seen in a while. And so (gasp!) I just called them, with no other agenda than just to talk and catch up. The phone equivalent of showing up on the doorstep and inviting myself in. 

 

Two out of three actually answered their phones and we had the most delightful talk. And so I ask, “Why don’t we do this more often?” When was the last time you thought of an old friend and just up and called them? When was the last time someone called you like that? So if you’re feeling daring, think of who you’d like to chat with and after reading this, give them a call. Yes, you’ll probably get their voice mail and probably an impersonal one where you don’t even get to hear their voice or their clever answering machine message, but still it’s a start. “Hey, you’re probably surprised to hear from me, but was thinking of you and thought it would be fun to just talk and catch up. Call me back!”

 

And if you want to be really radical, go to their house, stand outside and yell, “Key-o-Key!! Hey Kofi!!! Come out and play!”

 

Let me know how it goes.