Sunday, September 8, 2013

Orff Teacher Wanted— No Warts

Having just come from the Mary Poppins Sing-A-Long at the Castro Theater, it occurs to me that the next time a job teaching music via the Orff approach comes up (or any teaching job, for that matter), the school should have the kids write out the job qualifications. Except for the rosy cheeks, no warts, bringing too many sweets and the weird bit about barley water, the two kids in the movie advertising for a nanny pretty much nailed it. As follows:

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts
Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us Castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water.

If you won’t scold or dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us.
We won’t hid your spectacles, so you can’t see
Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea

Hurry, hurry, many thanks
Sincerely, Jane and Michael Banks

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