Family Time

“Thirty More Years” by Wendell Berry

When I was a young man,
grown up at last, how large
I seemed to myself! I was a tree,
tall already, and what I had not
yet reached, I would yet grow
to reach. Now, thirty more years
added on, I have reached much
I did not expect, in a direction
unexpected. I am growing downward,
smaller, one among the grasses.

 

Though I’m off my old school schedule, it still says with me somehow. Thanksgiving is coming and I feel like I’m on vacation. Maybe not so surprising, as the upcoming road-trip to Oregon to spend the occasion with Kerala, Ronnie and the grandkids announces a change of routine. The next twelve squares on my calendar are blank, another message that vacation is here. Though the days have been sunny and warm, the nights have a chill that proclaims that winter is coming and it’s time to turn a bit more inward. 

 

Truth be told, I don’t always do well with too much “free time,” preferring the rhythmic routines that sustain me. Here in San Francisco that has come to include daily walks (8 miles yesterday!), piano playing, cooking, a bit of teaching, lunches with friends and such. I do enjoy the shift that the break in routine offers, but start to feel a bit restless. 

 

At 72 years young, I still feel very much on the path of “becoming” and I suspect I always will. But there is wisdom in leaning a bit more towards “being,” to consider the downward gaze into the grasses even as I keep looking up at the heavens. To balance the willful energetic climb up the mountain with the graceful letting go and falling like an autumn leaf. To enjoy the busyness of my daily business, but equally feel at home with time stretching out with nowhere particular to go. 

 

Not that Thanksgiving with the extended family will feel like blissful navel-gazing. There will be the explosive energy of the kids, games, games, games, the bustle in the kitchen, some hiking out into the wintry air of Bend, Oregon. A different kind of routine, none of which will add to my resume, yet one I’ve always valued and enjoyed. Family time. 

 

Any English majors amongst you will notice a great confusion of themes not clearly related in the four paragraphs above. Though it deserves some re-working, hey, I gotta pack.