Social Life

I believe I’m in the middle of the introvert/extrovert scale. Given a choice between constant partying and sweet solitude, I’ll often choose the latter. But of course, as a teacher —and particularly an Orff teacher— I’m not only in the party but often leading it. Piano practice, reading, writing, morning meditation all feed the solitude side while making music with others, public speaking and occasional sitting in zendos with others in meditation lean heavily toward the community.

 

I noticed in Europe that I rarely had a moment when I was separate from my five companions and that felt just fine. Of course, solitude doesn’t just mean being alone. While riding my bike with the other four, I was still left alone with my own thoughts and feelings. But I did notice how breaking bread with others— the root of the word “companionship; “con”= with, “pan” = bread)— felt good and I enjoyed it.

 

Truth be told, my retired life at home leans quite heavily to the solitude side and while comfortable with it, sometimes those circling thoughts and checking in on feeling states gets tiresome, the constant effort of generating my own form of connection. Now the grandkids and my eldest daughter are here visiting for the week and the house is filled again with kid and people energy— and I’m loving it. No special effort required to fill in the hours, always something happening and someone to connect with via games, walks, bike rides, conversation and yet more.

 

And while Thoreau was my first literary and philosophical love, this world was not meant to be 7 billion individuals sitting around their own Walden pond. We are built for community. And in those places I’ve loved visiting and have admired greatly— Bali and Ghana spring to mind— there is the constant buzz of community, folks hanging out and all ages together and of course, playing lots of music and singing and dancing together as well as working and feasting and celebrating together. 

 

For me, at least, the challenge is to balance the two poles, to find those needed moments of Solitude inside the razzle and dazzle of community life. Which I’m trying to do now as my grandson comes around and asks for my attention!