Acceptance and Change

 

I posted my Five Stages blogpost (see Nov. 14) on Facebook and a few people commented that they couldn’t imagine ever getting to “acceptance.” Here was my response.

 

I know exactly what you mean. But in this case, I think “acceptance” means something different. The St. Francis prayer suggests that "To accept that which I cannot change" is indeed the right response to our own mortality and the inevitable loss of everything and everyone we hold dear. I think it also applies to our wishes to change people— friends, spouses, children. We can help them, but if they’re not doing the work to change themselves, it can’t be done. I think it also applies to certain parts of ourselves that though we feel them as problematic, are so intimately tied to our fundamental character and necessary to our particular genius that it is better to finally accept them. 

 

But Angela Davis’ reversal of the above rings equally true: "To change that which I cannot accept." When it's human foibles and intentional manipulation and manufactured lies and ignorance, it could be at least somewhat in our power to help change that. So I think acceptance in this case is not throwing up our hands and saying "Oh well, you can't fight City hall" and more moving from our outrage and helplessness to considering what we CAN to do help affect that change. To accept that we can't do as much as we would wish for, but we can do SOMETHING. 

 

These blogposts are part of my “something.” I wish you all the best with yours.