• I’m out of joss stick incense for my morning meditation and there’s only one store left in San Francisco that carries McCann’s 3-minute oatmeal —and it’s line is long. Plus I need a haircut.
• Wouldn’t this be the perfect time to do all the city road repair that they’re always doing during rush-hour morning commutes?
• I suggest opening all the remaining Drive-in Movie Theaters. With curbside concessions, of course.
• Perfect social distancing sports:
- Tennis with one disposable gloved hand.
- Baseball without a catcher.
- Golf with onesomes.
• With all the daily video-chats and online video lessons, I can’t help but wish this had happened twenty years ago when I could stand to see myself.
• A walk in the world these days is like a run down a football field, dodging all oncoming opponents.
• If Disneyland were open and it’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout ride equaled its world-record waiting-in-line time of 5 hours (on May 29, 2017), how many feet/ yards/ meters/ kilometers/ miles would the line be following the 6-foot social-distancing rule? (The perfect online Math Problem for the rest of the school year!)
• Shall we collect for future times sworn statements from children that they miss school?
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