50 Boiled Potatoes

 

I am not cut out for this modern world. Some poor soul someday will be stuck at a dinner table with me hearing the excruciating details of my 6am flight to Melbourne and then to Christchurch, New Zealand arriving around 1pm, changing to a noon flight to Sydney arriving at midnight in Christchurch. All because of a Visa my hosts neglected to mention, a Visa ap that promised prompt service if only the Hobart Airport wi-fi worked (it didn’t) and then when someone got me on Hotspot, it refused all passwords, including the new ones I just re-made. And with no Wi-fi, I could neither call my New Zealand hosts on WhatsApp nor my Hobart people to come get me— and there wasn’t a taxi in sight. As I said, I’m not cut out for this modern world.

But humor helps and there’s no better summary of how these sometimes efficient (but often not) devices shorten our life span with endless stress and anxiety. This little piece (sent to me by a friend) says it all!

Machine: Choose a password.

Human: Potato

M: Sorry, password must contain at least eight letters.

H: Boiled potato

Sorry, password must contain at least one number

1 boiled potato

Sorry, password cannot contain spaces.

50freakingboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password must contain capital letters.

50FREAKINGboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password cannot contain consecutive capital letters.

Iwillshove50 FreakingBoiledPotatoesUpYourButtifyoudonotgivemeaccessimmediately!!!

Sorry, password must not contain punctuation.

YouarereallyPissingMeOffIwillshove50FreakingBoiledPotatoesUpYourButtifyoudonotgivemeaccessimmediately

Sorry, that password has already been taken. Please choose a new one.