Download

 

My 5^th grade teacher-daughter Talia just clued me in on the latest “advance” in technology designed to shut down students’ rigor, personal voice and critical thinking skills. Some new monster in cool clothes named “chatgpt” that I’d rather not know about it, but probably need to look in on at some point. But it did remind me of a song my colleague James Harding and I wrote while driving down to an Orff Mini-Conference. Well, really new words to a familiar song—Downtown, by Petula Clark. And when did we write it?

 

2001! Over two decades later, it still holds up. Teachers, sing it to—or with—your kids. And less they’re having trouble grasping the concept of satire and irony, be sure to add the word “NOT!!!!!” at the end.

 

1) When you’re alone and homework’s getting you down, you can always go—

Download.

The teachers won’t know and your folks aren’t around, so turn it on and go—

Download.

Just boot up to the Web on your personal computer.

You’ll have time to go outside and try out your new scooter.

What can you lose?

The figures and facts are there, 

you can be printing them out while you’re dying your hair, so go

Download, it’s just a click away.

Download, no work for you today.

Download, it’s the new techno way out.

 

2) It’s late at night and you’ve got pages to write about the Civil War—

Download.

Hit the Website, you know it’s really all right, ‘cause that’s what techno’s for—

Download.

Your prose can be as complex as Immanuel Kant,

All you’ve got to do is chose the paper and the font.

Palintino.

You won’t have to think for yourself,

You can forget all those Cliff Notes, leave the books on the shelf and go

Download, there’s information there.

Download, what do you really care?

Download, sit in the easy chair now.

 

3) You didn’t do the reading and now you are needing facts about Vietnam—

Download.

It’s not really cheating, you’ll find out the meaning if you click dot.com— 

Download.

You hand in a paper that you barely understand.

It never has to pass through your brain or your hand.

Why work so hard?

The grades are much higher there

You’ll be hangin’ at Stanford or in Harvard Square when you

Download—open your eyes and go

Download—you will look wiser if you

Download—just plagiarize, it’s okay.