The Three C's

How do we know when we are at fault? When is confidence that we are right a proper response and when does it become arrogance and shutting down of listening? When is self-doubt the fuel for further growth and when does it cripple us? Questions for a Friday morning.

 

Confidence. Conviction. Clarity. These are three stellar qualities in any field. Teaching, for example. Kids can immediately sniff out when you’re not sure of yourself and poke all your vulnerable spots. They will test the depth of your conviction that what you’re offering is worthy and steamroll over you if it’s found wanting. They will show you if your plan is murky or clear and show no mercy if clarity is missing. The proper response to their apparent misbehavior is not “Kids these days are horrible!” but “What do they have to tell me here? How can I build a stronger confidence, deeper clarity, unshakeable conviction?”

 

How indeed. No blueprint formula— this is deep inner work. Part of it is simply doing the work to understand more fully the details of your field and the effective ways in which to communicate it. Taking the time to study, to train, to practice. And then the constant observation about what works well and works less well, the relentless tuning, fine tuning, re-tuning, class after class after class. The understanding that while it’s good to proceed as if the difficult class is your fault, it is never wholly your fault. You’re dealing with that volatile mix of emotion and character called people and children are people in their rawest, most unpredictable form. So while you keep reflecting and adjusting to achieve the illusive perfect class (it actually does happen occasionally— see yesterday’s post!), it’s always a work-in-progress. It’s always a conversation between your self-assurance and self-doubt, always tweaking the proper proportion of each.

 

A healthy dose of self-doubt is the crack that keeps things honest and just vulnerable enough. We have had plenty of confident dictators convinced that their worldview is correct and clear about their plan. Let’s remember that conviction also means sentenced by a jury to become a convict. That confidence can cross the tracks to make you, in Melville’s terms, a “Confidence Man” scamming and conning others for our own profit. That clarity can mean “brightness and radiance” but too much direct sunlight can blind us to our own faults. 

 

So by all means, in our teaching, in our work, in our living, let us strive for more confidence, conviction and clarity. But leave in that healthy sliver of questioning and doubt. Remember Inspector Gamache’s wise words before claiming your conviction, “I might be wrong, but here’s what I think…” That’s the crack that lets just the right amount of light in.