Rubber and Glue

A young woman living next to Zen Master Hakuin became pregnant, but refused to tell her parents who the father was. They pressed her and she finally told them it was Hakuin. The enraged parents went to Hakuin and accused him of being the father. All he said was, “Is that so?”

 

When the child was born, they brought the baby to Hakuin and said he must raise it. “Is that so?” he replied and took the baby. His reputation was destroyed and all his neighbors disdained him, but he took good care of the child.

 

A year later, the mother finally confessed that she had lied and the real father was a young man who worked at the fish market. The mother and father went to Hakuin, apologized, asked for his forgiveness and asked for the child back. “Is that so?” he replied and put the child in their arms, resuming his life as before.

 

Would that we had such equanimity and could meet all of life’s betrayals and disappointments with a shrug of the shoulders and in the face of boldface lies and decisions that affect our lives, simply comment “Is that so?”

 

Well, dream on. When people with their heads up their butts have the power to make ignorant and hurtful decisions with no accountability and no capacity for further thought and conversation, who among us could calmly reply “Is that so?” and get on with our lives?

If you know someone, I’d like to meet them. 

 

But one of the gifts of the last stage of life is the capacity to reduce the surface area where the barbs can enter. To smooth out the psychic body’s surface so things don’t stick quite so tenaciously and just bounce off. Having just been through some nonsense like this, being unseen, unvalued, dismissed by people whose job it is to see, value and welcome, I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. I can’t convince them to see the error of their ways, but I can control how much I allow it to hurt me. So I thought of my childhood response to insults from my friends:

 

“I’m rubber and you’re glue and whatever you say or do bounces off of me and sticks to you!”

 

That’s about right. 

 

(Followed by “Na   Na    Na   Na   Na Na-na Na  Na.”)