Walt Whitman Updated

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contain'd,

I stand and look at them long and long.

 

They do not sweat and whine about their condition,

They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,

They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,

Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,

Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,

Not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth.

 

So they show their relations to me and I accept them.

And they, in turn, accept me.

 

Not one asks me to fill out pages of forms before they will allow me to be in their presence.

Not one requires me to get a background check, downloading the Candidate Background Check Form, the Media Screening Form, the Sterling Disclosure & Authorization Form, the Identity History Summary check, the Police Criminal Record Certificate.

Not one asks me to get fingerprinting and get it notarized and watch the one-hour Sexual Harassment video and confirm that I’ve read the 60 page (Animal of your Choice) Handbook.

 

Not one asks me for my personal pronouns or suggests that if I’m not a raccoon, it’s insulting to wear a mask and if I’m not a coyote, it’s inappropriate for me to howl. 

Not one calls me to task for insulting slugs when I use the term sluggish or forbids me from saying “Don’t be mulish!” or “Don’t rat me out!”

Not one asks to see my passport before entering their habitat or requires me to fill out the 18-page Visa Application. 

 

Not one organizes the killing of others in large numbers because of an idea. 

Not one kills innocent people for no reason whatsoever while fellow species members sit idly by and let them purchase assault rifles.

Not one lets their children sit alone in rooms with screens.

 

I think I could turn and live with animals.