Me and Mr. Rockefeller

 

“If I never had a cent, I’d be rich as Rockefeller…”

 

“Who’s Rockefeller?” think the kids when I teach them to sing The Sunny Side of the Street. I tell them that, though by today’s Bezos and Musk standards, he’s in the minor leagues, John D. Rockefeller once was the richest man in the world. 

 

He once was asked, “How much money is enough?” and he answered, “Just a little bit more.” I quote this often when discussing the false lure of money, its addictive nature, its promise to bring satisfaction and happiness and its failure to ever do so. Wolves of Wall Street, take note. And yes, there is some high judgement going on and self-satisfaction that I’m of the Emerson School of Success (see yesterday’s post). 

 

And yet, if I’m honest— and I should be— “just a little bit more” is what I feel about my own “successes.” The lift I felt with yesterday’s PBS news was exactly proportional to the disappointment I felt when I sent the manuscript of my new book Zen, Jazz and Orff: A Life in Three Worlds to a publisher I already had had some contact with and would be the perfect vehicle for this semi-memoir. And the very nice person responded with a polite “No thank you.” I don’t wholly endorse the reason— it’s a hard book to market because it crosses three genres and doesn’t fit comfortably into any one niche. But that’s precisely its point of interest, looking at what these three traditions have in common and how their tenets offer structures to help heal ourselves and our broken world. It’s an out-of-the-box book in a world that wants everything neatly packaged in a recognizable, easily shelvable box. The initial critique was not about the quality of the writing or the ideas, just the difficulty of marketing it. Sigh.

 

So on the same day as the inflation of the PBS screening came the deflation of the book rejection. How much affirmation from World do I want? Just a little bit more. When I will be satisfied with what I have? When I have “just a little bit more.” How about appreciation? Happiness? Love? How much do I need? You got it—just a little bit more.

So Mr. Rockefeller, though I often feel as rich as you just by savoring the “gold dust at my feet, on the sunnyside of the street,” I also understand you when you want “just a little bit more.” Maybe we’re not so different after all.

 

Meanwhile, back to work. I’ll send my book out to a couple of more publishers, but now I’m thinking I’ll just do it myself with my own Pentatonic Press, even if only 20 people buy it. I had fun writing it and I believe in it. The world will be just fine without it, but for some readers, perhaps it will move the needle .000001 millimeters closer to healing and happiness. 

 

And that is enough.