I’m settin’ it all up on my new i-Phone
Got me a password and a new ring tone
Downloading stuff from Ye Ole Ap Store
I got me ten aps and I want ten more.
Got me my Lyft, got me my Uber
Got my Google search to read up on Franz Gruber
You’re comin’ to my workshop and you need to pay?
Got my Venmo and my Paypal, you can pay me today!
I got me my flashlight to search in the dark,
I got me Park and Pay that will pay when I park
I got my Google Map, I got my Ways ap
So I can get around it when the traffic is crap
Now I’ll have my head down when I’m out for a walk
Checking all the ways that we can talk
I can send you a text , a video or call
Tell you where to meet me in the shopping Mall
And if you want to know more about who I am
I can show you now on Facebook or on Instagram
I'll tell you what I think, I'll show you how I feel
I'll show you a cool photo of my last fancy meal
I can send you an emoji that’s angry and mad
Or choose the one that’s happy, confused or sad,
Yes, I can show you how I feel, I can tell you what I think
I can show you a photo of my new kitchen sink
Now I can be distracted when my life feels dreary
I got no friends, but hey! There’s always Siri!
I’ll never feel bored, I’ll never feel alone
Cause I am reconnected on my new i-Phone
I love my new machine, I'm flying' high in heaven
Cause now I am connected all 24/7
It will solve all my problems, it will cure climate change
It will… wait! I have no service, I’m getting’ out of range!