Confessions of a Faker

It’s time for true confessions. I’m the world’s biggest faker. Somehow I’ve managed to scale to the top of my profession’s ladder without any qualifications whatsoever. 

 

Consider: I took organ lessons for a mere seven years (between 6 and 13) and piano lessons for only five (between 8 and 13). In high school, I took one theory class, didn’t sing in the choir or play in an orchestra or a band. I went to exactly one dance. I didn’t major in music in college, certainly did not get a Masters or PhD in either music or music education and never got a teacher’s credential. I sang in one choir for six months in college, took three jazz piano lessons post-college, never took a single class in conducting. 

 

In my adult life, I studied a wide variety of musical instruments and styles— Philippine Kulintang, Indian maddalam drum, Balinese gamelan, Bulgarian bagpipe, Ghanaian gyil xylophone and messed around enough on guitar, banjo, ukelele, accordion and tinwhistle to play some for/with kids. But the time invested in each was far short of even beginning mastery in any. I never was in a jazz band until I was 60 and some years, even that group gets together to play as few as five times a year. 

 

All of this spurred on by meeting my Chinese colleague who will translate for my course in Shanghai. She showed me some videos of her 4-year old son plunking out Frere Jacques on a tiny keyboard. She then mentions a key and he immediately transposes. If the note he needs is below the keyboard range, he just plays it in the air. Then she suggests major or minor and off he goes, in all cases nailing it the first time. He doesn’t know a single thing about which keys has which sharps or flats, just follows his ear and there it is! 

 

Then she showed me a video from a year later where she plays a random 3 or 4 note chord while his back is turned and then he duplicates it without missing a pitch. At 5-years old! Now that is what is called musical intelligence. I’ve struggled my whole life to cultivate mine, but it is not my default setting. I think more in words and ideas than in pitches and rhythms and that’s fine, but a little dubious when you’ve made a career out of being a music teacher. 

 

Add to that my standing as one of the most travelled Orff teachers on the planet, sought after in some 50 countries. Yet I only speak the language in five of them, know either virtually nothing or a tiny bit about each country’s musical styles and musical histories. How do I get away with this?

 

Well, there is the 45 years of experience teaching kids of all ages, the constant reflection that turned out 10 books, just enough humility to be clear about what I don’t know and offer freely what I do. So maybe I’m not a 100% faker. True, I couldn’t fool anyone enrolling in the Bulgarian bagpipe competition or sitting in with the master drummer in Ghana or showing up at a high-level jam session at the Blue Note. I wouldn’t dare conduct a college choir (though I did fake it with a fabulous small South African choir and they seemed to like my short lesson), play Bach on a classical music concert stage or even try to secure a spot in the Body Music Festival. 

 

But when it comes to teaching music teachers— and certainly when teaching kids— I can get away with it all. Maybe even better than a real musician who would be impatient with the kids or adults because they can’t hear as effortlessly as he or she can. I’ve had to struggle against a childhood where the musical synapses didn’t quite get connected the way they should have and given that foundation, have managed to get to a reasonable place by sheer perseverance and determination. 

 

Probably a more generous way to talk about this is that I’ve found the niche just right for my “jack of all trades master of none” lifetime and it seems like it is of some use. Unrelenting perseverance and unwavering dedication counts for something. I’ve certainly put in the time— some 50 years worth. And I love it all— music, children, teaching, creating instant and long-echoing communities. That’ssomething I’ve never faked.  

 

But still, put me up against that 5-year-old duplicating heard chords and he would put me to shame!  (8/24)