Lay Your Burden Down

It’s unusual that one’s day-to-day report is “I rode my bike for many hours through beautiful French countryside” but that pretty much sums up my day and all the other 9 that preceded it. The notable difference today was the Gardens of Eyrignac, which truth be told, was not quite worth the 13 Euro price. (And seems like senior discounts are not a thing in France). Yes, there were some interesting topiaries and bush-lined pathways and fountains with sculpted frogs shooting water from their mouths. But truth be told, the most interesting part for me were these metal sculptures made from old-fashioned keys and other bits. Roosters, insects, geese, a musician, a man holding a balloon. 

 

But the one that caught my attention was a woman releasing a bird from the cage. That’s an image that well describes the feeling of freedom I feel coasting down the long back-country roads on my bike. I often find myself singing the chorus of an old Incredible String Band song:

 

“Farewell sorrow, praise God the open door, 

I ain’t got no home in this world anymore.”

 

That sense of release, of laying down the burdens of this life and floating up feeling so light. Freed from the cages imposed from without and within and ready to fly. 

 

Back to the hotel in the late afternoon and I realized I hadn’t touched base with my daughters in a while. So courtesy of WhatsAp, I sent some photos and a few words about the trip. My older daughter Kerala wrote back:

 

“Here’s my photo. I feel a thousand pounds lighter!”

 

The photo was of her official divorce from her husband of 17 years. 

 

We greet news like this with sadness and there is some in there, for sure. We all would have preferred that the fairy tale marriage they worked so hard at could have had its happy ending. But the two that it takes to tango was my daughter’s solo dance in the last few years, with her partner not only refusing the dance, but blaming her for closing the dance studio. No one here need know the details (and for those interested, see Kerala Taylor’s posts on Substack), but that heavy burden she has carried is finally off her shoulders. Like that bird in the sculpture, I feel her flying free and I am relieved for her sake. 

 

She worked so hard against all odds trying to make the marriage happen and in the end, was blamed for its failure. I have cared for my son-in-law and still do on some level alongside the anger at what he has done and what he has not done, as a husband, as a father and as a struggling human being who needs to own his own healing from multiple traumas. 

But my love for my daughter, from the moment I cut the umbilical cord in her home birth until today and every day that follows, is immeasurable, unequivocal and unconditional. 

Even if it was conditional, she has earned it all through her extraordinary efforts to be a supportive wife, a loving mother and simply one of the finest human beings I know. Her moment of release is something to wholly celebrate and here thousands of miles away, my wife and I raised our glasses with our friends and toasted her long-awaited moment.