The Kindness of Strangers: II

Sharing that story of unexpected kindness in a 1978-79 trip around the world got me thinking about other such moments on that trip. I mentioned a few at the end of the last post and the one in Italy particularly interested me, as I hadn’t thought about that forever. I told my wife I had some recollection of a family serving us coffee in their home and a son proudly practicing his English, so decided to see if I could find that passage in my journal from 37 years ago. And damn if I didn’t get it right! 

 

The back story was that my college friend Bobby was living in a kind of Italian/American commune in the hills above Florence, so we decided to visit him. But back in those days, there wasn’t something called GPS and in the hills, even street addresses weren’t particularly useful. We just had to stumble along following some directions Bobby had written to us and again, depending on the help of strangers. Here’s the story from my journal:

 

From the train to the bus to Grassina in search of Bobby’s house in the dark. Following several people’s directions, up a houseless dirt road until defeated by a fork in the path and no encouraging signs to continue. Went back towards town, knocked at the first open door we passed and were swept straight into the heart of a delightful Italian family, who immediately got the expresso cups out and offered us a ride. Three children, the eldest who was 9 or 10 beside himself in self-importance talking to us in the few English words he knew, the proud father smiling and gesturing to him to continue while the two younger ones in pajamas looked on curiously. After coffee, up we rode into the hills, our host asking directions three times before finally finding Bobby’s house. Profuse thanks to them and a warm-goodbye and Bobby’s friends greeting us having expected our arrival. And then the shocking news that Bobby’s mother had died seven days ago and he had just left to go home to New York…”

 

Those were the pre-cell phone days where something surprising like that could happen. Bobby, of course, had no way to get in touch with us and we had no choice but to “go with the flow,” as we used to say back then. His “roommates” welcomed us anyway and we spent some five days there before moving on to Assisi and beyond. 

 

Without effort, I can think of three more memorable stories from that trip and it feels good to share them. And timely. The thing so few people talk about in our time of extreme turmoil is that we are in the midst of a crisis of character, with far too many people —and especially too many people in power—exhibiting their cruel and callous selves, shutting the doors to strangers with a slam, dismissing and deporting people they don’t know, fearful that everyone is out to get them and sitting on their porch with their shotgun. All logical responses in the face of real threats, but 99% is from a purposeful FOX News narrative designed to make people fearful when they needn’t be so those in power can carry out their self-interested agenda of greed and privilege. 

 

Exposing that false narrative alone can’t turn it around. After all, who wants to admit that they’ve been bamboozled and fooled? (Though interesting how many stories are coming out now of people voting Republican who are getting fired senselessly from their jobs and finally, they’re started to get pissed off.) Just as the only antidote to darkness is light, to hate is love, so might these stories of kindness and deep trust in the goodness of people help shake people out of their stupor and remind them that the world is filled with these stories. It might invite them to remember their own stories where they received such unexpected kindness from a stranger (even something so simple as a seat on the bus) and when they themselves offered an act of kindness. 

 

So to complete this little series from that trip, stay tuned for India, Bali and Japan. And consider doing something nice for a stranger today.