The Perfect Student— Not!

Here are nine of the Conner Test criteria for a well-adjusted school student (note two more included from yesterday’s list). Here is an imaginary child or adult who passes the test with flying colors, never doing any of the things that the creator of the test imagines as obstacles to success in school. But at what price? Consider:

 

1. Easily distracted: Never. Always has head buried in book (or on their phone screen) and doesn’t notice the flock of geese flying overhead.

 

2. Defiant :Never. Incapable of outrage and excuses bad politicians (and bad teachers) doing bad things. Stays silent and complicit.

 

3. Restless, always on the go: Never. Stays at home rather than goes out in the evening. Doesn’t own a passport.

 

4. Forgets things he/she has learned:Never. Remembers all the state capitols and imports of Bolivia, can tell you about the facts regarding the rise of Nazism, but doesn’t know how to apply it to the January 6^th insurrection.

 

5. Argues with adults: Never. Trained to think that “father knows best”— or teacher or priest or politician or expert, doesn’t trust her own instincts or develop her own point of view. Doesn’t stand up for herself when something seems unfair.

 

6. Only pays attention to things he/she is interested in: Never. Knows how to look like he’s paying attention to get a good grade or be a good student, but actually is not interested in anything.

 

7.  Lacks interest in schoolwork: Never. Always appears to be interested in every subject, but again, maybe not for the right reasons. Doesn’t cultivate any interests outside of school.

8. Fails to finish things he/she starts: Never. Always completes every task, but can’t distinguish between a worthy task and a boring one or figure out when enough is enough.

 

9. Excitable: Never. Always calm and frankly, on the bland and boring side of life.

 

So there you have it. If you pass with one set of criteria, you fail with another. 

But let me be clear. The hypothetical student/ child/adult above can be a great pleasure. When my grandchildren are failing at 1 through 5 above, sometimes falling short of 8 and driving me crazy with a too-ramped-up 9, it’s not easy for me to praise them for their strong character and laudable personality. It’s as short-sighted to dismiss the Conner Test Stellar Student as it is to wholly praise him or her. 

So why did I do it? Because I was excited about finishing this post without getting distracted  by the Warriors game. But I'm off to the local bar to watch the second half now!