The Waymo Administrator

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I still believe in humans over machines. Still have hopes that people can make intelligent decisions, even in the face of my own history and the choices those around me make. School administrators, for example.

Driving with my sister, we passed a driverless Waymo car and I started voicing my disgust with our attempts to replace humans with machines on so many fronts. But she surprised me by suggesting that Waymo was probably a better driver than many people, always stopping when it should and never running the red light like the driver in front of her did the other day.

So this morning the thought struck.—maybe Waymo should run schools. Talking with a fellow teacher recently, we noted how much power a school administrator has to drive the car of the school wherever the hell he wants to and how most teachers, parents and Board members will sit quietly in the back seat without objection. They might back seat drive amongst themselves, whispering “Where the hell is he going?” but very few are brave enough to actually speak up and fewer still brave enough to insist he get out of the car and let them drive. As much as I wish it weren’t so, it’s just the way the world often works.

But now consider the Waymo administrator. The car is programmed precisely according to the directions of the Mission Statement. Anything that turns away from that is not an option for Mr. or Ms. Waymo. Obstacles may stand in the way and it (might as well use the machine pronoun) will patiently wait or find a way around them. It will never take a wrong turn nor drive past the destination nor pick up anyone who has not officially signed up to ride in the car. It will pay rigorous attention to speed limits, never trying to rush ahead nor dallying too slowly when it’s time to move forward. No decision it makes will be a surprise to anyone. It will never accuse the passenger (ie teacher) of doing something wrong or threaten to kick them out of the car. It also will never praise the passenger except possibly in a pre-programmed Siri/Alexa voice void of authentic feeling, but that’s a small price to pay for the security of knowing the school vehicle is firmly on the route prescribed by the agreed-upon Mission Statement.

So while I remain a staunch non-fan of AI substitutions for human endeavors, don’t love the way it sidesteps both our frailty and our glory, I think I’d be willing to give the AI administrator a shot. And free up all the money for overinflated school head salaries for the teachers! Silicon Valley, you’ve got your work cut out for you.