Wednesday, July 26, 2023

4 am

It’s no surprise that people my age (or any ages?) often get up once, twice or even three times each night to pee. I certainly do, but I always immediately get back to sleep.


Until recently. For the past eight nights or so, I awake at 4 am and can’t get back to sleep. It’s maddening. It’s not jet lag. I’m not, to my knowledge, worried about anything or anxious. Occasionally, I have a class plan or a blogpost thought that insists on getting written down before I lose it. But really, there’s no reason I can think of for this new annoying body habit.


Mostly, after jotting something down (like tonight at 4:14 am), I might read for a bit and eventually get back to sleep. And strangely, I don’t feel tired the next day or need to go to bed earlier the next night. But still, when I awake and feel, “Dang! I can tell I’m not getting back to sleep!” it’s not a happy feeling. 


I’ve known people with insomnia and have great compassion for them, thinking how difficult it is. Am I about to join them? Are you one of them, reading this at 4:14 am?


I hope not— to both questions. Good night.

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