The Grinch Yet Again

17 years ago (!!!), I wrote a parody of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It went mildly viral , but my name as author got detached so eventually a school parent sent it to me and said, “Thought of you when I read this. I think you’ll like it” and I replied, “You’re right. I wrote it!”

Though what has happened since has made us almost weirdly nostalgic for Bush, the Grinch de Jour in 2002, it’s important to remember all the bad things afoot that he did and stood for. Don’t have the time and energy to re-do it yet again for the guy whose heart is TEN sizes too small and whose mind seems to have moved away with no forwarding address. But worthy revisiting this one. Enjoy!

THE GRINCH REVISITED(with thanks to Dr. Seuss) ©2002 Doug Goodkin

The Whos down in Whoville liked this country a lot,

But the Grinch in the White House most certainly did not.

He didn't arrive there by the will of the Whos,

But stole the election that he really did lose.

Vowed to "rule from the middle," then installed his regime.

(Did this really happen or is it just a bad dream?)

He didn't listen to voters, just his friends he was pleasin'

Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be his heart wasn't working just right.

It could be, perhaps, that he wasn't too bright.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,

Is that both brain and heart were two sizes too small.

In times of great turmoil, this was bad news,

To have people in power who ignore all their Whos.

But the Whos shrugged their shoulders, went on with their work,

Their duties as citizens so casually did shirk.

They shopped at the mall and they watched their T.V.’s.

They drove their gas guzzling big S.U.V.’s.

Oblivious to what was afoot in D.C. 

Ignoring the threats to Democracy. 

They read the same papers that ran the same leads,

Reporting what only would serve corporate needs. 

(For the policies affecting the lives of all nations

Were made by the giant U.S. Corporations.)

Big business grew fatter, fed by its own greed, 

And by people who shopped for the things they didn't need.

But amidst all the apathy came signs of unrest,

The Whos came to see they were fouling their nest. 

And those who cared for the ideals of this nation, 

Began to ask questions, exchange information. 

‘Bout things they couldn't read in the corporate-owned news,

Like closed World Bank meetings and CIA coups.

Like drilling for oil and restricting rights.

So they published some books and created Websites. 

They began to write letters and use their e-mail 

(Though Homeland Security might send them to jail!)

What began as a whisper soon grew to a roar,

"These secrets and lies we'll no longer ignore!"

They started to rise up and fight City Hall, 

Spoke up with strong voices and rose to the call, 

To vote, to petition, to gather, dissent,

To see through the ways of the false President.

To choose not to give “manufactured consent.”

As greed gained in power and power knew no shame,

The Whos came together, sang "Not in our name!"

Then one by one from their slumber they woke,

The old and the young and all kinds of folk.

The black, brown and white, the gay, bi- and straight,

All united to sing, "Feed our hope, not our hate!”

“Stop stockpiling weapons and aiming for war!”

“Stop feeding the rich, start feeding the poor!”

“Stop storming the deserts to fuel SUV's!”

“Stop telling us lies on the mainstream T.V.'s!”

“Stop treating our children as markets to sack!”

 Stop feeding them Barbie, Brittney and Big Mac!

“Stop trying to addict them to lifelong consuming,

In a time when severe global warming is looming!”

“Stop sanctions that are killing the kids in Iraq!

Start dealing with ours that are strung out on crack!"

A mighty sound started to rise and to grow,

"The old way of thinking will just have to go!

No more God versus Allah, Arab ‘gainst Jew,

With what lies ahead, it simply won't do.

No American dream that cares only for wealth

While ignoring the need for community health.

The rivers and forests are demanding their pay,

If we're to survive, we must walk a new way.

No more excessive and mindless consumption

Let's sharpen our minds and garner our gumption.

For the ideas are simple, but the practice is hard,

And not to be won by a poem in a card.

It needs the ideas and the acts of each Who,

So let's get together and plan what to do!"

And so they all gathered from all 'round the Earth

And from it all came a miraculous birth.

The hearts and the minds of the Whos they did grow,

Three sizes to fit what they feel and they know.

While the Grinches they shrank from their hate and their greed,

Bearing the weight of their every foul deed.

From that day onward the standard of wealth,

Was whatever fed the Whos spiritual health.

They gathered together to revel and feast,

And thanked all who worked hard to conquer their beast.

For although our story pits Grinches 'gainst Whos,

The true battle lies in what daily we choose.

For inside each Grinch is a tiny small Who,

And inside each Who is a tiny Grinch too.

One thrives on love and one thrives on greed.

Who will win out? It depends who we feed!