Odyssey Rap: Part II

They sailed on to Aelious land, the Guardian of the Winds,

And ate and drank and feasted ‘till the wine ran down their chins.

Aelious gave a leather bag, inside the winds of four

And bade farewell to Odi as he saw him to the door.

Stirred up a gentle breeze to set them on their way.

 

The ship drew near to Ithaca at the close of day.

Odyseuss was exhausted and lay down for the night

Fell into a deep sleep just as his island came in sight.

The greedy crew kept eyeing that mysterious leather pouch,

Lying next to Odi who lay sleeping on the couch.

“It must be gold,” said one of them, “Let’s peek and take a look.”

 

As soon as it was opened, the whole ship shook and shook.

The winds escaped and blew the boat back to where it had begun.

Aelious would not help again, there was nothing to be done.

But row and row and row until they came to the next land.

And send some men out to explore while the rest worked on their tan.

 

CHORUS: 

Don’t dis the ‘Dys,’ he did what he could,

To sail his men home safely and get back to his hood.

He used his wits and courage, he acted like a man,

But Fate stepped in, to his chagrin, the gods had others plans.

 

They found a witch named Circe, who was looking rather fine.

She gave them all some food, then dropped a potion in their wine.

The men got up to go after having drunk and dined,

And realized that this bitchy witch had turned them into swine.

 

When the men failed to return, Odi went to check it out.

He passed a pig who greeted him and touched him on his snout.

“That’s your man,” said Hermes, who dropped by to intervene.

“Dude, watch out for Circe, that woman’s really mean.

Take this plant and eat it, then follow with a fig.

So when you drink, her potion won’t turn you into a pig.”

 

So Circe tried her magic, but saw it didn’t work.

“Are you from some far planet, like Spock or Captain Kirk?”

“You are messin’ with the wrong man, you saucy little missy.

I’m a big bad warrior and my name it Odyssey.”

“Well, hey big boy,” said Circe, “want to come up to my bed?”

“Only if you promise that tomorrow I won’t be dead.

And one more thing,” said Odi, as he ate a few more figs.

I can’t have fun while all my men are lyin’ around as pigs.”

“First thing tomorrow, I’ll release them from my spell.

And you all can stay here, I swear I’ll treat you well.”

 

And so it came to pass, they hung out and drank beer,

And ate and slept and chilled there for almost a whole year.

But then they all got restless and longed for their own bed.

Circe said that they could go, but first visit the dead.

“In the land of Hades, across the river Styx

To speak with blind Teresias, I promise no more tricks.”

 

So Odi went to fetch his crew who were stretching out their bodies.

“No more time for wine and song and classes in Pilates.

Circe has been good to us, but now that we’re all well.

We’re gonna take a little trip straight to the bowels of Hell.”

 

CHORUS: 

Don’t dis the ‘Dys,’ he did what he could,

To sail his men home safely and get back to his hood.

He used his wits and courage, he acted like a man,

But Fate stepped in, to his chagrin, the gods had others plans.