Odyssey Rap: Part IV

 

No sooner had they passed one danger when there came another

This one was so scary they started screamin’ for their mother.

Two cliffs lay high in front of them, a narrow passage through them,

On one a 6-head beast who clearly wanted to chew them.

The other had a monster who drank, then spit it out

Causing a huge whirlpool like a tornado spout.

Charybidis was on the right, on the left was Scylla.

“Which way to go?” thought Odi, “when both of them can kill ya!”

He chose the left and as he neared, the heads they did descend.

And came back up with 6 of Odi’s trusted screamin’ men!

The men rowed faster still, ‘till they got around the bend,

Before those fierce, hungry heads could feed on them again.

 

Another danger past, but again at such a cost.

For each and every adventure, more of the crew were lost.

The men sank down into a state of profound melancholy

Odi tried to cheer them up, said, “Let’s watch Hello Dolly!”

But Broadway, film and video and yet to be invented.

So instead they sang some mournful songs and generally lamented.

 

CHORUS: 

Don’t dis the ‘Dys,’ he did what he could,

To sail his men home safely and get back to his hood.

He used his wits and courage, he acted like a man,

But Fate stepped in, to his chagrin, the gods had others plans.

 

The next place that they came to was the land of Apollo’s sheep.

Odi called a meeting and said, “Listen! Not one peep!

These sheep they are Apollo’s and though Zeus is the big boss,

When Apollo draws a line, that’s something you shouldn’t cross.

‘Don’t touch those sheep’ are the orders. ‘Don’t cause them any harm.

Or I myself will personally chop off your leg or arm.

We all keep messin’ up and each time someone dies,

So keep it cool, don’t break my rule and hasten our demise.”

 

Well, you know that when somebody says, “Don’t do this, you will rue it!”

In every story you know darn well that someone’s gonna do it.

That someone was Eurochylus and it happened just like this.

A storm blew hard for 6 months straight, all were stranded with the ‘Dis

They ate up all the food on board that was a gift of Circe

“Till they got to the last piece of their precious turkey jerky.

 

“We’ll have to hunt and fish,” they cried, “there’s nothing left to eat!”

“Why go to all that bother when here’s some sheep for meat!”

Said the sly Eurochylus, not listening to Odysseus,

Not heeding his clear warning, so early the next morning,

When Odi climbed up to the shrine and to the gods did pray,

Eury crept up to the sheep and each one he did slay.

Odi couldn’t do anything, the fearsome deed was done.

His men feasted for six days, and then on the day of Sun,

The storm calmed down and they set out once more on the wide sea.

Then it blew back up and killed them all but not Odi,

Who clinging to the mast, soon washed up on the shore

Of the island of Calypso, Are you ready to hear more?

 

CHORUS: 

Don’t dis the ‘Dys,’ he did what he could,

To sail his men home safely and get back to his hood.

He used his wits and courage, he acted like a man,

But Fate stepped in, to his chagrin, the gods had others plans.